91 Tried And True Tips For Your Freshman Year


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  1. Know your drinking limit.
  2. Don’t drunk cry at parties.
  3. Don’t cry at parties in general (unless you have a really good fucking reason).
  4. Don’t distance your friends when you’re talking to a guy.
  5. If your friends are wary of a guy, chances are they’re right.
  6. Any friendship can be fixed if you’re willing to try.
  7. But that doesn’t mean you should fix every broken friendship.
  8. Don’t hook up with friends, it never ends well.
  9. If someone likes you and you aren’t interested, deny them as nicely as possible.
  10. Hide your alcohol well, from friends and RAs.
  11. Don’t take drinks from strangers.
  12. Don’t fuck your ex.
  13. Pick a major because you like it, not because you’ll make money.
  14. Talk things out in person.
  15. Learn how to take care of yourself when drunk.
  16. If you fuck a guy in a frat his brothers *will* find out.
  17. Be honest, no one likes a liar.
  18. Let your friend go for the guy you made out with once, odds are nothing will ever happen.
  19. Be nice to friends of friends who you aren’t really close with, who knows when you may need them in the future.
  20. Go to parties and socialize, don’t just stand there talking to your group of girlfriends, they will be there for you any other time.
  21. Take a ton of pictures, even if they are blurry and ugly.
  22. Be nice to the workers in the dining hall. You never know when you’ll need that extra slice of pizza.
  23. Don’t get with a guy to have revenge, it’s a waste of time.
  24. Try at least one new club or activity during the year, it’s a good way to meet people.
  25. Get over yourself and be nice to the guy you hooked up with, he was never mean to you, you’re just being a bitch.
  26. Even if you had a fling with a guy and he ended it, it’s better to smile and wave then be salty (yes your resting bitch face is noticeable).
  27. Go to office hours, or at least talk to your professors. They are there for a connection and resource — use them.
  28. When you’re wrong, apologize.
  29. Don’t expect everyone to like you and don’t go out of your way to like everyone.
  30. Follow your gut.
  31. If you’re unsure of where the relationship is going, ask.
  32. Speak up if you’re mad at a friend.
  33. Call your parents. At least once a week.
  34. Call or text your siblings often.
  35. Don’t expect friends from home to understand everything you’re going through, but know that they will try their best.
  36. Word spreads fast, get used to it..
  37. If you aren’t coming home one night, tell your roommate so she doesn’t panic.
  38. Make friends in other grades.
  39. It’s okay to eat alone, no one actually judges you.
  40. Treat yourself and eat off campus once in a while (trust me you’ll need this).
  41. If your friend is begging you to go to a party, you should go, even if you might not want to.
  42. If the guy your friend likes is a dick, tell her, but in the nicest way possible.
  43. If you see a guy who’s hooking up with a sister/friend, getting with someone else, tell her.
  44. Don’t cheat.
  45. Don’t help someone cheat.
  46. If you end up cheating own up to it.
  47. You aren’t there just to party.
  48. Study for tests and finals. Like, really actually study.
  49. You’re not a slut if you make out with a lot of people.
  50. For God’s sake, know how to play drinking games.
  51. Sometimes your friends are going to do something and you won’t be invited, don’t be pissy.
  52. Be nice to your roommates, even if you don’t like them.
  53. If a guy won’t introduce you to his friends, peace out.
  54. Don’t rely on Tinder.
  55. If you’re gonna throw up at a party, go outside or to the bathroom.
  56. You can (and should) become friends with people you wouldn’t expect.
  57. It takes time, but it’s possible to be friends with an ex.
  58. If you can’t decide whether or not to shave, do it.
  59. Forgive, but never forget.
  60. Stand up for yourself.
  61. Try and save some money.
  62. Talk to people in your classes, not only do you have people to study with, but you may become friends.
  63. If you came to a party together, you leave together. Unless you know she’s okay.
  64. Actually use your meal plan, your parents pay for it.
  65. If you’re gonna get blackout have a sober friend there to make sure you behave.
  66. If your roommate has an 8 a.m.class, respect that.
  67. Tell your roommate if you’re bringing someone home.
  68. Don’t always expect your roommate to drop everything and leave to give you privacy.
  69. Even if you and your roommate aren’t friendly, establish a trust of not touching one another’s things without permission.
  70. Find a friend who’s your size so you can swap clothes.
  71. Try and find an internship or on-campus job.
  72. Don’t hold grudges.
  73. Be open to new experiences.
  74. It’s normal to be homesick.
  75. You’re going to be uncomfortable at least once, try to remain calm.
  76. Please, don’t do drugs.
  77. Hard drugs. Don’t do hard drugs.
  78. People can be mean, it’s gonna happen.
  79. Stop complaining.
  80. Be nice to your RA, they can end up saving your ass.
  81. Do any and all extra credit.
  82. Clean your room, especially if you bring someone home.
  83. It is possible to negotiate grades with professors. If you actually deserve it.
  84. You will get into fights with your friends. It’s inevitable when you’re together almost 24/7.
  85. Stick to your morals.
  86. Work out every so often.
  87. For your sanity, spend some time alone.
  88. Do things you like to do, even if your friends don’t.
  89. Take a class just because your interested, not because it’s required.
  90. Do a kick ass job in school so your parents actually let you go back.
  91. Cherish every moment, because you only get to be a lanyard-wearing, dining hall-eating, lost at all times freshman once.

Welcome to college, kids.

Can be found chugging vodka sours at the bar or roaming the mall trying to use her already maxed credit card. In her free time she shit talks, stalks random people on Insta, and survives on Starbucks. Sex tips and hate mail can be sent to: psanonymous.tsm@gmail.com

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