It may seem that the beauty that is Channing Tatum has only been in our lives for a short while, but in fact, his first movie (Coach Carter) was over ten years ago, and he’s appeared in over twenty-five others since. While some were blink-and-you-missed-him parts (War of the Worlds, anyone?) and others were just bad movies (did anyone see Havoc? Didn’t think so), our boy Channing has amassed quite the body…of film work, that is. In honor of the opening of Magic Mike XXL on July 1, here is a definitive ranking of the best Channing Tatum films.
13. G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra (2009), Duke/Conrad Hauser
I skipped seeing this one in theatres, because it just didn’t sound like my thing. Then one day I caught it on TV and realized that Channing in uniform (or working out shirtless) will always be my thing.
12. A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints (2006), Young Antonio
Channing only plays a supporting role in this one, but he was actually nominated for an Independent Spirit Award for it, so there is some proof that there are brains behind his brawn. Also, it stars Shia LeBeouf before he went batshit crazy.
11. Dear John (2010), John Tyree
Okay, I have a confession to make – I hate Nicholas Sparks books/movies, with the exception of A Walk to Remember. I struggled with this one, because it’s so formulaic it hurts, but Channing does his best with the material he’s given.
10. Fighting (2009), Shawn MacArthur
As the title may indicate, the entire movie is Channing fighting people. There may be a plot of some kind, but I don’t really know – I’m too busy looking at Channing’s abs.
9. The Vow (2012), Leo Collins
Channing plays a man whose wife doesn’t remember him at all after a car accident. Like you wouldn’t remember being married to Channing Tatum. Anyway, if his looks aren’t enough to win you over, his sensitivity will be.
8. White House Down (2013), John Cale
In an attempt to impress his daughter (awwww), Cale tries to become a Secret Service agent and winds up saving the world or something. Whatever he’s doing, he’s doing it either in a suit or all sweaty in a tank top, so I’m good.
7. Foxcatcher (2014), Mark Schultz
I can overlook the big fake nose since he’s in a wrestling signet for most of the movie. Plus, it’s actually a good movie – like Oscar-nominated good.
6. 21 Jump Street (2012), Greg Jenko/Brad McQuaid
By 2012, I already knew that Channing was hot. What I didn’t know was that he was funny, which makes him even hotter.
5. Coach Carter (2005), Jason Lyle
I think it’s an inspirational movie about basketball or something, but it gave us Channing. That is all you really need to know.
4. 10 Years (2011), Jake Bills
Tatum plays a man at his high school reunion torn between his current girlfriend and his high school girlfriend. If this were a realistic movie, the two ladies would agree to share him because no one in their right mind would give up Channing, but you’ll have watch to see which one he chooses.
3. She’s the Man (2006), Duke Orsino
He’s handsome, he’s an athlete, he’s sensitive, he can fight, he’s nervous to kiss a girl, and he likes cheese. So in other words, he’s pretty much the most perfect guy ever.
2. Step Up (2006), Tyler Gage
To be honest, before this movie, I thought Channing was simply good-looking. And then I saw the man dance (in a tank top), and my undying love was cemented for eternity. I don’t even care that he married the annoying chick who was his costar.
1. Magic Mike (2012), Michael “Magic Mike” Lane
Oh, come on, like you didn’t know it was going to be number one. The movie literally could have been the “Pony” scene on repeat for two hours and it would still be number one..