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AMY SCHUMER APPLIED TO BE A REAL HOUSEWIFE

Just a few, short months ago, I paid $80 to sit a mile away from Amy Schumer and listen to her standup comedy, while assuming the tiny ant-sized body below was actually the comedienne I was obsessed with. I struggled to find anyone to see her with me, because no one knew who she was.

Now, my girl is everywhere, and everything. I don’t know what kind of PR agent she has, but he or she is brilliant, because suddenly, she’s getting the attention she deserves as a comedic genius. Although I’m feeling sort of like a comedy hipster, I’m happy to see my love in the spotlight, as it gives us pieces of comedy gold like this.

What? Am I driving a school bus home?

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Veronica Ruckh

Veronica (@VeronicaRuckh) is the Director of Total Sorority Move for Grandex, Inc. After having spent her undergraduate years drinking $4 double LITs on a patio and drunk texting away potential suitors, she managed to graduate with an impressive GPA and an unimpressive engagement ring -- so unimpressive, in fact, some might say it's not there at all. Veronica has since been fulfilling her duties as "America's big," a title she gave to herself with the help of her giant ego. She has recently switched from vodka to wine on weekdays. Email her at veronica@grandex.co

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