Speech class. To some, this elicits cold sweats, nightmares, and total fear. To others (read: attention whores) it’s your time to shine. For one LSU student, he decided to make his speech class his bitch. I’m not entirely sure what the overlapping topic of the speech was supposed to be, but this guy chose to discuss “How To Seduce Women.” And it. is. everything. It involves a blow up doll, a lot of dry humor, and pently of “oh no he didn’t” gasps.
Sure it’s crude. And could be a teeny tiny bit offensive. BUT let’s not look at it that way and look at it for what it was meant to be: A hilarious speech that was most likely better than everyone else’s. Plus it offered some really thought provoking perspectives, not to mention that he presented this to a class with a professor for a grade. Let’s go over some of the main points this guy is giving to our potential boyfriends, shall we?
Step 1: Meet The Girl
•Go to someplace “women friendly” like Whole Foods or a women’s rally.
•Share her passion for fancy olive oil or women’s rights.
Step 2: Take Her On A Date
•Pull out her chair.
•Don’t tip (because that shows you like to save money, and women like money).
•Order fancy sounding stuff.
•Tuck napkin in shirt (obviously).
•Always be touching her. ALWAYS.
•Do the ol’ yawn trick and say that you’re so tired because you were up all night volunteering.
Step 3: Talk To Her
•Talk about how much beer you can drink.
•And use words like “smashed” or “crushed” when talking about the amount of beer you can drink.
•Talk about her childhood so she knows you care.
•Don’t actually listen, but pretend.
•Nod and say “uh huh” a lot.
• But sure to include a “wow you’re so amazing babe” in there every now and again.
•Lie about yourself. Lie about yourself the whole time.
•Be interested but not too interested.
Considering how this speech included sources from Tinder and is presented by a college guy, I think it all makes total sense, in a “never listen to his advice but laugh you ass off” sort of way. Still, he said that you should date two years before marriage and he used a blow up doll for a class presentation so I have to say: He knows his shit. Good luck to all of the guys using this advice (hello, fuckboys) and to the LSU student who presented this,
Image via Youtube