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Basic Bitches In California Literally Can’t Stop Drinking Avocado Beer

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Unless you’re a “cool girl” (which, let’s admit it, none of us really are), you probably hate drinking beer. Sure, you’ll down a few free ones at a pregame or order a fall cider because you just loooove fall, but in general, it’s really just not your go-to. While it’ll do the job, too many beers make you feel bloated; they don’t taste as good as mimosas; and they’re less expensive (read: less desirable) than your favorite fancy cocktail. But overall, drinking a beer really just doesn’t give you that basic bitch status that we as women must maintain. Enter avocado beer.

Everyone’s favorite toast accessory is now available in beer form, and let me tell you: girls are obsessed. If you live in California, you can now go to the bar nearest you and order avocado beer on tap, which is so ridiculous and absurd that I’m pretty sure you’re all going to rush out to do just that immediately. I know, it sounds like a crazy novelty, but trust me – it’s going to be huge. There was actually an avocado beer fest in L.A. that basic bitches like yourselves flocked to in order to consume their favorite Chipotle bowl in liquid form.

I’m unclear if the beer is the color of your favorite St. Patty’s Day draft, or if it even tastes remotely good, but my hope is that it’s basically like consuming massive amounts of guac that would also get you drunk. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to fly out to the west coast immediately and exert my dominance as Queen of the White Girls.

[via Betches]

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RecruitmentChairTSM

RecruitmentChairTSM (@TheRecruitChair) is a contributing writer for Total Sorority Move. This current grad student and ex-sorority girl survives solely on Diet Coke and the tears of the pledges she personally victimized. She's a Monica, a Marnie, a Miranda, and a Regina. Her favorite hobbies include drinking $14 bottles of wine and binge-watching season 2 of Grey's Anatomy until she cries. You can send her annoying e-mails at RecruitChairTSM@gmail.com

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