I’m so obsessed with the Kardashians that sometimes I actually think I’m part of their family. As a member of the Kardashian Klan, I was truly appalled this morning when I heard that Rob and Blac Chyna (the woman who has a son with Rob’s little sister’s boyfriend) are tying the knot. Seriously.
Rob announced the impending nuptials by posting a picture of his soon to be wife with a stack of one dollar bills and eggplant emojis in the caption. Ah, yes, just how every little girl dreams of how her husband would announce their engagement.
The happy couple celebrated their decision to spend the rest of their lives together by going to the strip club. Again, not kidding. This is just who Rob is now. Apparently, they also brought along Blac Chyna’s mother, because you can’t celebrate an engagement at a strip club without the bride-to-be’s mother, right? The entire Kardashian family (minus Rob) are off on a family vacation so unfortunately, they couldn’t make it to this wild party.
Amber Rose has offered her congratulations to #ChyRo by posting this message to Instagram and implying that the two should hurry up and make it official so they can start making babies. I can feel Mama Kris shivering in fear right now.
Congratulations to my Family @blacchyna and @robkardashian!!! Pease don't let nothing or no one tear u guys apart! I never seen my sis so happy and I couldn't be more happy for her! Sometimes we find love in the strangest places Lol God Bless you 2! Now let's get this wedding together so y'all can start making some babies #TrueLove #putaringonitsouknowitsreal #BlacRob
True to the Kardashians’ royal status, they’re keeping the bloodlines close. This fucked up family tree is about to get even more chopped and screwed.
Blac Chyna is going to be Kylie Jenner’s sister-in-law, and if Tyga and Kylie eventually tie the knot, his son with Blac Chyna will have Rob as a step-father and Kylie as a step-mother. My head is spinning just thinking about their family dinners.
None of the Kardashians (even mama Kris) have released statements (or Instagram posts) on the couple’s recent change in relationship status. It could be because they’re all off on their yearly family vacation right now, but I’m sure they’ve heard the news. You know what they say: while the Kardashians are away, Rob and Blac Chyna will play.
Congrats, I think. .
UPDATE 4/5/2016 12:54 p.m.: The jeweler who made the ring for Rob confirms that the ring is, in fact, an engagement ring. He offers his support and congratulations to the pair and also casually drops a bomb that the rock on her finger is a big, fat seven carat ring.
Congrats to @RobKardashian & @BlacChyna on getting engaged. Rob, I have never seen you this happy before and I've known you since you were a teenager. I'm glad you came to your day 1 homie to get this massive for your lady. You know I don't play when it comes to diamonds. God bless #7Carats #VVS #IFANDCO #BlacChyna #RobKardashian
Image via Instagram