Obviously if you’re involved with a cheater, the answer to “when to bail” should be immediately. But if you’ve been a part of such a situation, you know that it’s not always so clear-cut, and ending a relationship is much easier said than done.
I’ve never been able to justify cheating in my head. I’ve always felt that the reason to cheat is because you’re unsatisfied in a relationship (or because you are an inherently bad person), in which case…just break up! What’s worse is that as in the case of Tiger Woods and Elin Nordegren, girls, particularly sorority girls, are usually much more attractive than their male counterparts. So like, how DARE they cheat on us! Unfortunately, it does happen. Mainly because of a superiority complex these boys develop and an endless supply of sluts. Or perhaps because of the need to overcome the insecurity that comes from having a small penis. Either way, if you find yourself in this situation, keep in mind A. that he’s a bastard and B. the following advice.
First keep in mind how long you’ve been dating. If it’s less than a month, just cut your losses, get a quiiiick STD test, and move on. You don’t need some douchebag who can’t keep it in his pants for some skanky girl who’s not even that pretty. However, once you’ve been dating for awhile, and maybe even uttered those three little words, it becomes extremely difficult to go your separate ways, and while there is absolutely NO excuse for cheating, there are some circumstances during which it may be permissible to give him a second (not third, not fourth, not fifteenth…second) chance.
He Admits it Right Away
Admission of guilt means that…well, he knows he did something wrong, and that more importantly he’s willing to take responsibility for his actions. He knows he screwed up by doing the most selfish, childish, horrible thing ever, but owning up to it immediately with a giant apology (without your badgering him for it) means he’s willing to make it up to you.
It Was One Time, and One Time Only
With his confession, he needs to explain to you the nature of the situation. He’s only human, and everyone makes mistakes. Not that this is your run-of-the-mill mistake, but it was so clear to us that Miranda should forgive Steve when he slipped up the one time, and perhaps if you’re in a similar situation, it would behoove you to work through it rather than throw everything away over one night that he wishes he could erase just as much as you wish it.
He Does Whatever You Need to Feel You Can Trust Him Again
Your boyfriend better be prepared to do some serious ass-kissing to earn back your trust. You want to call him at 3am with a crying/screaming hybrid fit? He better take it like a man. You want absolute proof of his whereabouts when you’re not together? You deserve to know. If he isn’t willing to do WHATEVER it takes (including beg) for your forgiveness, and to make you feel comfortable again, then you need to let it go. If the trust can’t be earned back, the relationship will never work. However, keep in mind the limits. You can’t torture him forever, and it may get to a point where you realize your trust has been forever broken. If that’s the case, no matter how much you love him, it’s time to break up.
While there are specific situations where you can consider forgiveness, there are also some specific situations that call for you to break it off IMMEDIATELY.
He Cheated With His Ex
This is never okay. The only reason people cheat with their exes is if there are lingering feelings. This means, that even though she’s a trashy whore, it’s still his fault, and he still isn’t over her. You don’t want to be second place. Let them be miserable together.
He Lies About It
If admitting to cheating right away is a sign of maturity, lying about it means he wasn’t hazed even slightly hard enough. Lying about his wandering
eye penis means he could be lying about anything else, and you can never trust him to be honest with you. Relationships can’t survive without trust, and you can’t trust someone who lies.
He Stuck Everything with a Hole and Heartbeat
This one seems like it should be obvious, but to some girls it isn’t. The guy who went on a cheating rampage clearly has no respect for you or himself. He is not ready for a relationship, and you shouldn’t waste your time on this loser.
The most important thing to consider though…is it worth the pain? The answer should be “no” but it’s something that only you can decide, as every relationship is different. Either way, remember you deserve the best and whatever will make you the happiest, and if that’s forgiving him, good luck, and if not, you were too good for him anyway.