I never really connected to my big. She was a sweet person, and I don’t hold anything against her for our lack of a relationship, but she was never really around. I had a normal big/little week, with gifts and then the thrill of reveal, and that was all very exciting, but I saw her a few times after that and that was pretty much it. I adjusted to it. I became super close with the other girls in my pledge class. I met my best friend that way. My best friend and her big were the polar opposite of me and mine. They were very close, inseparable even. There were always photos of them together on Instagram, holding hands or staring into each other’s eyes in that lovingly platonic way, and as many times as I made fun of them and rolled my eyes, I was always a little jealous.
I became close with my best friend’s big and all of her friends as well, so I always had a pseudo-big in the form of an older girl I was close with, but it wasn’t really the same. Being a big is hard, and not every single big and little combination works out seamlessly with the two of you becoming best friends for eternity, and that’s okay. But if there’s anything I’ve taken away from the experience, it’s that your little needs more than puff-painted chug mugs and rhinestoned paddles. She needs you. She doesn’t need you to spoil her with handed-down family tanks. She needs you to spoil her with just how much you show her you care, and that’s not as easy as handing her a gift.
A little needs a big for everything, especially in the very beginning, when everything is still new and scary. Jumping headfirst into a sorority can be extremely overwhelming, and all the sisterhood events are there to help with that, but sometimes just getting there can be hard for a new girl. A little needs her big to text her and ask if she needs a ride so she won’t have to walk in alone. She needs her big to tell her where they’re pregaming before the social, to share her best costumes, to brag about her to her friends so she feels special. Even more than that, a little needs a big for the hard stuff, the real stuff. When she gets into a fight with her dorm mates and needs a place to cool off, a girl’s big is the one she’ll call. When a guy breaks her heart, when she has too much to drink and needs someone to make sure she gets home and then to bring her coffee and muffins the morning after, your little will need you.
Don’t stop spoiling her after big/little week. Spoil her forever, with more than presents. Show her that you genuinely care about the person she is, and that you’re interested in her well-being even after the glitz and glam of big/little week is over. What she really needs from you is unconditional love. Pair that with hot pink picture frames with photos of you two inside, and you have everything you need for a truly everlasting bond. Just be there for her. Trust me, that’s all she really needs..
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