Drinking Wine Before Bed Now Officially Makes You Skinny


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Whether you’re casually sipping a cabernet blend while laying in bed and reading a book or chugging Franzia until you knock yourself out, there’s no denying that we love our evening glass (or bottle, or box) of wine. Now you can shut down all the haters with pure science facts, because a bunch of really smart people at Washington State University and Harvard have decided that yes, drinking wine actually makes you skinny.

First, if you’re going to get your drank on, wine is definitely the way to go. While Regina may choose a wheat beer for her all-carb diet, the rest of us will be way better off with our wine – while most beers contain between 13 and 20 grams of carbs, wines all contain a max of 5 grams, with the driest wines ringing in at only two – TWO! – grams of carbs, which means yes, you can and should have it with your pizza without feeling an ounce of guilt.

Image via Wine Folly

Besides the fact that we’ve just determined that wine is basically good for us, here’s the truly magical part. One of the special chemicals in wine is something called resveratrol. Pronouncing the name isn’t important, but here’s what is – this chemical works in the body as a means to stop fat cells from gaining more fat. In basic bitch terms, this means that it’s going to keep you skinny. And we’re not talking about just a classy sip either – drinking AT LEAST two glasses of wine a day works to combat obesity by up to 70%.

That’s at least half a bottle a day, folks. Half a bottle of wine every evening and your spring break goals will soon become spring break reality. To further back up these goals, the University of Denmark found that people who drank every day had slimmer waistlines than those who only drank occasionally, and Harvard conducted a weight-gain study of 20,000 people and of the almost half of the group that gained a large amount of weight, none of them were drinkers. None. If the school that trained Elle Woods tells me that booze is going to make me lose three pounds, I’m certainly not going to be one to argue.

So why drink it at night? As it turns out, the calories in wine help to keep you full and prevent you from nighttime snacking, which is a big benefit in weight loss. Overall, wine is relatively low calorie at under 150 calories a glass – can you say that about your other nighttime snacks? Since my go-tos are Ben and Jerry’s Core, a family size bag of salt and vinegar chips, or an entire delivery pizza, going for a glass of wine instead is hands down the better choice. So go ahead and delete your Seamless app and pull out your favorite box of Sunset Blush instead, and you’ll be allowed to sit with us because sweatpants won’t be all that fits you right now.


[via Last Bottle Wines]

RecruitmentChairTSM (@TheRecruitChair) is a contributing writer for Total Sorority Move. This current grad student and ex-sorority girl survives solely on Diet Coke and the tears of the pledges she personally victimized. She's a Monica, a Marnie, a Miranda, and a Regina. Her favorite hobbies include drinking $14 bottles of wine and binge-watching season 2 of Grey's Anatomy until she cries. You can send her annoying e-mails at RecruitChairTSM@gmail.com

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