Columns

Fail Friday: Old Meat

Ten real TSM submissions and one video that didn’t seem quite right. Names were omitted to protect the guilty.

Wearing pearls to the bars. TSM.
-Colorado

And wearing hooker heels to church.

I learned early on that guys want to take me to the bone zone, and so i mastered the art of flirting and teasing. Instead of applying myself and studying, I plan on earning my associate’s in cock guzzling and then motoring through life based on my looks. TSM.
-Michigan

You can get a degree in cock guzzling now? Learn something new every day.

In Wyoming, we may not have the best-looking or the most wealthy girls, but we have sisterhood. TSM.
-Wyoming

Where I’m from, we have all three.

The older the meat, the better the treat. TSM.
-Michigan

Define “treat.” If treat means the presents you get from an older guy with a better job and more money, then I’d agree. If treat means the sweet nectar of his loins, catapulted from a clammy, wrinkly ballsack, then you, my dear, are mistaken.

Today a girl in another sorority handed me a flyer inviting me to their recruitment event. I’m a senior and have been in my sorority for four years. Fail.
-Virginia

What’s it like to go four years unnoticed?

Getting de-littled, but adopted by the whole house. TSM
-California

Orphaned littles give me the heeby jeebies.

Buying the year’s worth of Formal dresses because if you have them you know you’ll get asked. TSM.
-Utah

You won’t.

Google docs. TSM.
-California

Breathing. TSM.

Kiss and tell. NS. Kiss and yell. TSM.
-Texas

Probably part of the reason he didn’t call you back.

Out of all the jobs I’ve done, I’m most proud of the blow. TSM.
-Texas

Having a job. NS.

Why.

Email this to a friend

5 Comments You must log in to comment, or create an account
Show Comments

For More Photos and Videos

Latest podcasts

Download Our App

Take TSM with you. Get

New Stories

Load More