Giving SOOO many fucks

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Nice Move

You may have noticed that fraternity men pride themselves on their lack of fuck-giving and how they’re TFTC about everything. Examples: I woke up naked on the president’s lawn covered in my own vomit. TFTC. I have a small penis but by the time you find out it’s too late. TFTC. I accidentally on purpose haven’t showed up to another chapter’s philanthropy event since pledging. TFTC. Largely, I’d say they are, in fact, too frat to care and give approximately zero fucks when you round up. But what I’m really unsure of is WHY this trend has wriggled its way into the female vernacular. Too SRAT to care does not exist. Do we really have to try to do EVERYTHING they do? Women’s suffrage, equal work for equal pay, that dumb (but incredibly beautiful and funny) bitch who keeps writing TSM columns, and now THIS! Men and women are different, and any girl who thinks otherwise can enjoy opening her own doors, buying her own drinks, and developing a deep, loving affection for cats, because she’s going to end up with a lot of them.

You are not “too srat” to care…about anything. Hello! How long does it take you to get ready before you leave the house? If your answer is anything less than 30 minutes, march yourself back to your room and don’t come out until you look decent. There’s a rumor going around that you’re as easy to get into as a bottom-tier sorority? Tell me you don’t care. I dare you. You watched the Royal Wedding and the Bachelorette, and tweeted about both events excessively, because for some reason these events MATTER to you. Being in a sorority means that not only do you care, but you care a whole fucking lot. Probably too much. I drive myself insane paying attention to the smallest details that don’t actually matter. Whether it’s crafting something fabulous for my fabulous little, and wanting it to be just perfect, or picking out the perfect nail polish that is neither clashy, nor is it too matchy matchy with what I’m wearing that night, or how to phrase the most perfectly condescending yet seemingly sweet dig at your competition: “Girlfriend, where do you get your hair done? I can hardly tell that isn’t your natural color! Love it!” We literally give so many fucks about everything, and I see nothing wrong with this. If you didn’t ask your gay bestie for tips in the bedroom, you wouldn’t be a superstar in the sack. If you didn’t switch phones with your roommate at night, you might make the rookie mistake of texting him first. If you didn’t pay special attention to all of your momma’s secret recipes, your cooking might very well suck. Essentially, if you didn’t put in the time and effort to be perfect, you wouldn’t be. If you really do have the “fuck it” attitude that the boys wear so well, then kudos. I’m totally jealous. Kidding. I’d rather be glamorous and over-think everything and let the lesbians and spinsters be plain and have nothing to over-think.

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Nice Move

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  1. Found out my previous long time girlfriend was registered on here. That is one of many reasons why it is now a previous relationship. The site is named TFM for a reason; the “F” is a dead give away. Nobody gets on her to see what the fuck sorostitues have to say.

    ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 3 years ago
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  2. DeltaDeltaDarling

    This is sooooo true. To all the people that are going to comment saying this column “isn’t classy”, you need to get a life and stop taking yourselves so seriously.

    ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 3 years ago
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    • VAkappadelt

      If you truly believe that you have a sense of humor, DeltaDarling, and you also found this column to be funny, I regret to inform you that you are sadly mistaken and your “sense of humor” is nonexistent. I don’t care about the “classiness” of the article or how many times “fuck” comes up; it’s simply not witty and a total bore. It’s the definition of “I think I’m hilarious, and I think everyone cares what I have to say, so I’ll write this suuuper hysterical column.” There is nothing clever about this piece-of-shit collection of what appear to be random words.

      ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 3 years ago
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    • KlassyKappaG

      It’s not like we’re taking ourselves too seriously, it’s that some of us were raised with class and an understanding of what is appropriate to say and what is not. Unfortunately, the F word is not classy or cute.

      ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 3 years ago
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    • DeltaDeltaDarling

      Because you have to be an award winning writer to get published on TFM, right? Get a life. It’s funny, and if you can’t see how it’s true for a lot of sorority girls, maybe you need to take a better look at yourself.

      Another thing, why do you let this bother you so much? Don’t you have better things to do? It’s a COLUMN. On a WEBSITE (not even a serious or academic website at that). Just the fact that you get so annoyed with it is pretty pathetic.

      ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 3 years ago
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    • VAkappadelt

      Thank you for proving my point, sweetheart. :)

      Also, thank you for personifying the definition of irony. I’ve commented on this column once before this, yet here you are THREE times. But I’M the one who doesn’t have anything better to do? Obviously you relate to this article, as you give WAY too many fucks.

      ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 3 years ago
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    • KlassyKappaG

      DeltaDeltaDarling, why do you care so much if we have an issue with this column? Clearly you’re one of the girls hot-piece-of-TSM-trash is talking about, so perhaps you’re the one who needs to take another look at herself.

      ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 3 years ago
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  3. Holy Broledo

    She actually put together one intelligent sentence – the last sentence of the first paragraph. But then I stopped reading when I saw how long and unorganized the second paragraph was in addition to the uncalled-for CAPS and exclamation points.

    ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 3 years ago
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