Gossip Is Actually The Key To A Good Friendship


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Nice Move


Some of my favorite people to be around are the nice girls. You know who I’m talking about. They’re great bakers. They listen to you cry about the same guy over and over again, and they would never say bad things about anyone. They’re genuine, nice, wonderful people. Sure, I’m not one of them, but still. I like them. But my real favorite people are the bitches (using this endearingly, calm down). The ones who aren’t afraid to be ruthless. The ones who will snuggle up on the couch with you, hold a glass of wine, and hold nothing back. They gossip about their boyfriends, their families, and their friends, leaving no juicy details out. Because if you think about it, if you’re not gossiping, then what are you talking about?

School? Your diet? Ways to positively impact society? Eh. Nah.

Gossiping is just talking about people when they are not there. So when we talk about celebrities, that’s gossiping. When we talk about TV shows, that’s gossiping. When we talk about politics, that’s gossiping. Why do we uphold the standard that if we know the person in real life, then we are not allowed to talk about them? People are people are people, and whether you know them or not, talking about them can potentially make an impact on them.

Ladies, we need to cut ourselves a break and realize we are not the only ones talking about us (do you feel your ego inflating yet?). Boys gossip just as much as we do. While they might not get as specific about the small nuances that make us want to peel our skin off, they still talk about us. What else would you call their conversations about ranking chapters and sisters by degree of hotness, who is “wife material”, or who is just plain busted? Sure, it’s annoying AF, but that’s gossiping. And guess what? We gossip about guys too. Most likely more. Okay, definitely more. Just the other day, my roommates and I had a conversation about who we would marry, and we went as far as testing our first names with our last names to see how it would sound. “I would literally take a human life to sit on his face” is a sentence that I used about a guy I had just met. Humans are fascinated by humans, so it’s only natural that we talk about each other.

Gossiping can be a good way to blow off steam before you say anything you don’t mean. Before I confront someone, I make sure I talk over my problems with a friend. That way I can make sure I keep important points and get rid of bombs like “Oh yeah? Well at least my boyfriend didn’t cheat on me with my stepmom!” Girls are known to cut deep, especially when we are angry. We have a natural instinct that knows just what will make each other cry. When we talk about those things without that person present, we are getting that bit of anger out of our system without throwing it in their face and causing an even bigger problem.

Nothing brings two women together like the mutual dislike of someone else, but gossip doesn’t always need to be negative. Talking about how much you love a sister is still talking about her. Sure, chances are she’s not going to be as pissed off as if you were talking about how much of a C U Next Tuesday she is, but still. The point is, we can still gossip. Hell, we should gossip. But maybe once in a while we can throw in some positive attributes about people. Keep on gossiping ladies, because I know I will.

And honestly, that is the ugliest effing skirt I have ever seen.

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A born and raised Jersey girl, she can always be found covered in sand and pizza sauce. Her personal brand is "that girl." She prefers wine in bottles because she thinks outside of the box. Send fan mail to sratbroTSM@gmail.com or by smoke signal.

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