Halfway Having Someone Is Worse Than Not Having Them At All


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Nice Move


I am the absolute queen at “basically dating” relationships. It’s those relationships where you’re not officially boyfriend and girlfriend but you do a lot of couple activities. It’s like you can’t really tell your Grandma that you finally found a boyfriend but you have a toothbrush at his apartment. Or he buys you dinner and listens to you rant about your life problems but still refuses to introduce you as his girlfriend to his mom.

In the age where chivalry is dead (or maybe we’re just all talking to the wrong boy?) half-way, basically dating relationships suck. After running into some pretty shitty boys with the same excuses, I’ve lost hope in the male species. You can really only pity the boys with “commitment issues” for so long. My favorites are the boys who “really like you but just aren’t looking for a relationship right now.” Another award-winning line is, “I care about you and I don’t know about the future but right now, I just like where we’re at.” These lines are bullshit and a total cop out on his part. He gets to keep hooking up with you but if he finds someone else on the one night you don’t come over, you can’t be mad because he never said he was committed to you.

So, make a move or GTFO. I have a life to live and many more episodes of New Girl to watch. I’m not saying that I don’t respect the “talking” stage. I think it’s very important and should not be skipped over but if you’re “talking” and it’s been more than a few months, it’s time to make an executive decision and state where you stand. We’re not 15 anymore and can get away with “talking” for extended periods of time. Having someone to spend everyday with and share your greatest laughs with but not be able to take them home to your parents and say, “look at this kick ass guy I met, he’s my boyfriend” kind of sucks a lot.

It’s like having a stray dog and you establish that you’ll keep him until you find a sufficient home. You and unnamed dog do everything a normal pet owner and dog would do–you have play dates, you fall asleep watching George Lopez at 3 a.m., you tell them your deepest secrets and cuddle on the couch. Then, one day, the unnamed dog decides he has commitment issues or he’s “just not ready for a pet owner” and peaces out.

To all my loyal pet owners, we don’t always deserve the shit we put up with. To all my unnamed dogs, it’s time to establish what you are with your pet owner. Love them and never let it go because half way having someone is way worse than not having them at all.

And after all that… if your unnamed dog still walks out on you, then that dog never deserved you anyway.

This image is from TFM’s database and is not associated with the writer of this column.


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