“You pay for your friends.” Every time I hear those words escape the lips of some ignorant GDI, I mean “misinformed unaffiliated peer,” I want to punch them in the face. Luckily for them, maintaining a perfect manicure sits higher on my list of priorities. I’m sure you’ve been in the situation where a GDI thinks she knows all about your sorority when really, she’s watched, like, two episodes of Greek and is using that as the sole barometer of her judgment. It’s tempting to argue with them, but I’ve realized their hatred for us stems from three main reasons.
1. They can’t imagine what it’s like for more than a handful of people to want to be their friend.
Maybe my prejudice of GDIs keeps me from seeing this clearly, but most of the time (like 99.9999%) these particular females are the type our recruitment chair refers to as “undesirables.” They are socially awkward, basically weird, and dislike glitter, lattes, and general happiness. There’s no doubt they have trouble finding and/or keeping friends. They’ve had one best friend since kindergarten, a neighbor, who’s invalidated because she’s a default friend, so even if they’ve expanded their friend circle to five girls, it’s still way outside their realm of understanding how 100 people could love you enough to drop whatever they’re doing to pick your drunk ass up from the bar.
2. They rushed and didn’t get a bid.
I can only vaguely imagine what it’s like to spend a week in rush to have even bottom tier chapters give you the ax. In my opinion, this particular situation creates the most bitter of GDIs. There’s always that one girl in your classes who so blindly and passionately hates Greek life without seeming to have any real reason until one day…
You: Biggie, for real, I can’t even handle this girl. Whenever I wear letters she stank eyes me and she openly bashes sororities every single class. Like WTF?
Big: What does she look like? Do you know her name?
You: She’s like tall, but not Gisele tall, and she looks sort of like that creepy daughter from the Adam’s Family. I think her name is Daisy Ihavenofriends.
Big: Oh, my God! I sort of remember her. I’m pretty sure she went through recruitment and no one bid her. Ouch.
You: Ohhh..ohhkay. Did you see the newest KUWTK?
Her hatred is unfounded but not entirely misunderstood. Take a second to realize that if the roles were reversed (I know it’s hard to imagine, but try), you’d be super jealous too. It doesn’t matter how pretty you are, jealously doesn’t look good on anyone…especially non-biddies.
3. They don’t know anything about what sororities actually do.
I’ve met PNMs who legitimately think ritual is where you do black magic and swear your life to your letters with a contract signed in blood. To these people, you could talk all day about sisterhood, philanthropy, and community service and they probably won’t hear a word. They think every one of your sisters is a reincarnation of Blair Waldorf, and while some of the seniors may seem that way, it just isn’t true.
So, fight the good fight if you want to, but whether or not some GDI approves of the way you spend your time is completely irrelevant to your success. I know in the moment you really just want to be right, but is it really worth it? Next time it happens (and it will) take a breath, go to your happy place (Starbucks), and let their negativity pass right by you. I find it most satisfying to shrug my shoulders, smile condescendingly, and walk away. Haters gonna hate.