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Here’s What Your TV Guide Would Look Like If It Got A Collegiate Makeover

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As someone who watches a lot of TV, I often think, “Um, TV producers, do you not see my struggles as a college student? This is TV gold, and everyone loves a train wreck!” Since E! hasn’t returned my calls, I took it upon myself to create some new hit shows. You can go ahead and put the check in the mail, Seacrest.

1. “Keeping Up With The Syllabus”

A peek inside the glamorous life of three sisters as they get through college one themed party at a time. You can expect exciting plots such as all night Adderall coffee induced study binges, biweekly panic attacks, and the sisters’ triumph over meeting attendance requirements.

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2. “Hot Mess Is The New Black”

When Piper arrives at college, she trades her polished life for a new life of chaos and shambles. As she makes new and unexpected friendships, she transforms into her true identity all while sporting XL T-shirts and dry shampoo.

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3. “Shame Of Thrones”

Based on a popular novel, “Shame Of Thrones” follows students of different backgrounds and classes as they enter a new world full of Jell-o shots and mystery punch. As the alcohol flows and tension arises, some find they are not fit for this new lifestyle and find themselves on the throne of shame.

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4. “How I Met Your Grand Big”

Through a series of comedic flashbacks, we learn how one determined sorority girl met her perfect big as she recalls the encounters for her little.

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5. “Pretty Little Freshmen”

A pledge class comes together: they’re young, youthful, and full of life, which they use to combat against hangovers, the freshman 15, and creepy senior guys. While some may see these things as an inevitable fate, these determined friends are ready to face whatever adversities may come their way, all while being dressed to the nines.

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6. “American Horror Story: Standards Meeting”

In it’s most intense and horrific season yet, “American Horror Story: Standards Meeting” may truly put the fear of God in you. Brave girls across campus engage in dangerous affairs, leading them to dodge the evil villain: Standards Chair. Will this villainous antagonist catch on to their ways? Stay tuned.

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Rachel Page

Rachel enjoys spending her time thinking about Britney Spears, whining about being single, and thinking about Britney Spears. She doesn't take to criticism well, so be nice or so she will cry herself to sleep! Email: rpage@grandex.co

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