I Got Put On National Probation For Having An Internship


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Sorority girls are dumb. Sorority girls are sluts. Sorority girls are rich. Sorority girls pay for their friends.

It’s no secret that sorority women constantly fall victim to these inaccurate stereotypes (just to name a few). As individuals and chapters, sorority women ban together to fight these stereotypes claiming that we aren’t what society has made us out to be. We claim to be different.

Although I can’t speak for every house, I can honestly say (at risk of being criticized) that some of the stereotypes placed upon sororities ARE true, (damn straight I love Starbucks) but one stereotype stands out to me in particular. Sororities love to claim that they are diverse groups of women who encourage each other to be different. Unfortunately, this isn’t always true. Admittedly or not, there is a massive push to keep sorority girls traditional, restricted, and consequently, the same.

I have to preface this by saying I’m not criticizing sorority girls as a judgmental outsider. I AM a sorority girl speaking truthfully and from personal experience. This past semester I got put on national probation by my sorority ultimately for not conforming to the traditional female stereotype.

I’d be lying if I said that since my initiation into my sorority I’ve been a perfect example of what it means to be a sorority woman. I’ve danced on my fair share of tables, kissed more boys than are currently on the bachelorette, and would be lying if I said I didn’t know what a beer bong was. Like all fun freshman I had a couple “run-in’s” with the standards board and although my behavior my freshman year of college was a bit questionable, I have made serious changes in order to get my shit together.

I’ve always prided myself in being different and try to live up to my life motto of being unapologetically me. I can have an occasional sailor’s mouth, but keep good grades. I’ve been to my fair share of frat parties, but been to more than my fair share of tutoring sessions. I’ve flirted with bunches of boys but brought in even more bucks working not one, but two jobs. I’m in several organizations, I go to church, and have taken my turn as a “sober sister.” I have made some serious changes to my life since my freshman year in order to grow on a maturity level. Ultimately I have figured out what it means to live life in balance and I overcame my desperate desire to be the life of the party.

Fast forward to now. Although I love to go out and have a good time I also have life and career goals. I have a passion for writing, love making people laugh, and my dream job is to write for The Tonight Show, so I was beyond thrilled when I started getting my comedy writing published here. My sorority, however, was not as thrilled.

Although my dream is to be a writer, I am currently a marketing major, so when I started searching for summer internships I figured it would be a good idea to keep it in the realm of sales and marketing. After an extensive search, my 3.5 GPA and comedic personality landed me my first choice internship with a reputable beer company. Again, because of the field, my sorority wasn’t stoked.

Between the raunchy comedy writing and the beer company internship, it was no secret to the chapter that I was in hot water.

During finals week of my spring semester, I received a call from my mom telling me she had received a letter in the mail from my sorority notifying her that I had been put on National Probation for a year. Their reasoning was that I had made “negative remarks about the sorority.” I felt shocked, betrayed, and targeted. I liked my sorority and loved my sisters. It seemed like a lame unsupported excuse in effort to avoid the elephant in the room. I was just different.

There were girls in my sorority who had puked at events, done drugs, and been caught with boys in their rooms and they proceeded on in the chapter seemingly scot free but because I embrace who I am and have actively pursued my dreams that don’t align with National’s outdated stereotype of what a sorority woman “should” be, I fell victim. It just seemed wrong.

Some people might read this and think that the moral is that my sorority (which will remain unnamed) sucks. This, my friends, is not the moral. The moral of this story is that it doesn’t matter if you have spent countless nights at frat houses or long nights at the library, if you work at an accounting firm or as a shot girl, if you spend your weekends playing Bingo or dancing on the bar. It’s our differences that make us unique and you shouldn’t have to conform to a dated interpretation of who you “should be” to be a part of a sisterhood. At the end of the day, as clichè as it sounds, following your dreams and being yourself are by far more important than the letters on your oversized T-Shirt.

My life is pretty much one big awkward embarrassing moment. Dream-self is a cross between Amy Schumer and Serena Van der Woodsen. I like LITs a little too much and am standards board's worst nightmare. If you don't party on Tuesdays then what's the point of college..? Feel free to email me funny stories and Memes because I love to laugh and there's a chance I might be able to make you laugh too. blondeboozy@gmail.com xo

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