If Disney Princesses Were Actually Sorority Girls


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There’s something about Disney princesses that all girls love. Maybe it’s the magic of a nobody suddenly becoming a somebody, the way every princess finds their happily ever after with their perfect guy (unlike real life), and oh yeah, living in a castle. As little girls (and even now), we dreamed about one day leaving this basic, boring life and being swept off our feet by a prince. I think we can all agree that being a princess would be pretty dope.

But what if instead of moving into a castle, they went off to college and moved into a sorority house? Instead of becoming princesses who ruled over a kingdom, they became sorority girls who ruled Greek row. If the Disney princesses were in a sorority, these are the types of girls they would be.

Snow White

Snow has a wild side. She tries to act all sweet, but she’s a total shacker. She almost never comes home at night, she’s always staying over with a different guy. She insists they’re all “just friends,” but honestly, who would believe her? She’s the fairest of them all — a regulation hottie. You might think she’s just some shy and innocent girl, but there was a rumor floating around that she once slept with seven guys in one night. Scandalous.


Rapunzel has gorgeous blonde hair that seems neverending. She insists it’s all real, but everyone thinks it has to be extensions. A lot of guys are into her, but she only likes bad boys. She’s your typical naive freshman — getting herself into trouble and wasting her time on fuckboys.


Cindy works all the time, so she’s never able to make it to date events or parties. She lives at home with her stepmom and she never lets her do anything. The only event she attended last year was formal. She showed up wearing this amazing dress and Prince Charming, one of the most desirable guys at her school, couldn’t keep his hands off her the entire night. That lucky bitch only went to one event all year and landed a boyfriend. Ugh.


Aurora is a legacy, so she didn’t have to try very hard during recruitment. Both of her parents were royal Greek, so she was born to live the life of a princess sorority girl. She moved into the house not long after initiation and literally all she does is sleep. It’ll be 2 p.m. on a Monday and Aurora will be fast asleep in her room. She’s lazy AF.


Ariel always wanted to be Greek, but her parents absolutely HATE Greek life because of its bad reputation. Ariel doesn’t care, and behind her father’s back, she joined a sorority. She’s the cutest pledge ever — she’s so excited about anything and everything concerning Greek life. At her first frat party, she asked what a keg stand was and if she could do one. It’s like she was meant to be part of our world.


Belle is here on scholarship and just joined a sorority so she could put it on her resume. She doesn’t go to many parties, which is fine because she’s kind of a wet blanket. All she does is study and read. She’s suuuuper boring. On the bright side, her A+ grades definitely help your chapter GPA standing.


Merida is that girl in your sorority who kills it at intramurals. She’s a major tomboy and a great athlete, but she’s the kind of girl who always needs help with her hair and makeup for formals and date events. She doesn’t know the difference between contour and bronzer, that poor thing.


Jasmine is a foreign exchange student whose parents don’t even know she’s in a sorority. Her parents are loaded, so they don’t even realize they’re paying for her dues. She says they wouldn’t approve, so she has to keep it a secret.


Pocahontas is from a small town so going to a college is a bit of an adjustment. She’s super into nature and yoga and meditation and all that crap, but she has a good weed hookup so you put up with it. She’s a little weird and says stuff like “Have you ever heard the wolf cry to the blue corn moon?” and you’ll be all like, WTF. Whatever, every chapter needs a stoner chick, right?


Tiana is the most hardworking person you’ll ever meet. She has dreams of opening up her own restaurant, so sometimes she’ll make food for the whole chapter and it’s always incredible. She’s from the south and believes in all that voodoo nonsense, and she swears it’s true. Apparently she has a voodoo witch doctor cast spells on every guy who doesn’t text her back after they hook up, which is actually pretty brilliant.


Mulan joined a sorority, but she really wishes she could’ve pledged a fraternity. She would’ve fit in much better with the guys, but they’re still her friends and she hangs out with them all the time and gets your chapter invited to every frat party, so it’s chill.

Anna and Elsa

Anna and Elsa are sisters, but you wouldn’t think they are based on how they act. They can’t stand to be in the same room as each other. Elsa is a one of those self-entitled seniors who’s just over it. She spends all her time locked up in her room away from people and always says things like “I’m a senior, fuck it.” She’s always annoyed and she never wants to participate in any sorority events. Total buzzkill.

Anna is the complete opposite. She’s a new member who is incredibly excited about joining a sorority and living in the house. She signs up for every event, she goes to every party, and she wants to get to know everyone in the chapter. Her best friend is Ariel because they’re both so excited about this new journey and are always up for anything. They make dates to craft together and go to spin class and do anything else that a typical sorority girl does. They’re the two princesses who would totally and completely assimilate to sorority life.

I’d bid.

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Cristina is a Grandex Writer and Content Manager. She was an intern for over two years before she graduated a semester early to write about college full time, which makes absolutely no sense. She regretfully considers herself a Carrie, but is first and foremost a Rory. She tends to draw strong reactions from people. They are occasionally positive. You can find her in a bar as you're bending down to tie your shoes, drinking Dos XX and drunk crying to Elton John. Email her: cristina@grandex.co (not .com).

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