I don’t like Gwyneth (Goopy) Paltrow, and as it turns out, neither does Martha Stewart. Ahh, sing to me, Jesus. Today’s going to be a good day after all.
Ever since Paltrow started her lifestyle “empire,” Goop, she’s becoming more and more unbearable by the second. At this point, she’s basically abandoned movies and has set her sights on improving the world via one flaxseed at a time. She doesn’t eat gluten, she doesn’t eat dairy, and she’s proven time and time again that she doesn’t eat her own words, either. Her pretentiousness knows no bounds, and she obviously has no idea just how out of touch with reality she really is. Her life is now dedicated to over-the-top recipes, absurdly expensive Christmas gift guides, and celebrating things like World Water Day.
full of healing power. #iLoveWater #WorldWaterday @drop4drop
Basically, she’s a Martha Stewart wannabe–without any of the Martha Stewart likability, ambition, talent, or street cred. If we’re being honest, she’s more of a poor man’s Blake Lively. And that’s sad.
The good news, however, is that despite Goopy’s many plays for Martha’s job, the Queen of Homemaking is standing firm in her position as the country’s resident crafter. She’s made jabs at Paltrow’s ridiculousness in the past:
She just needs to be quiet. She’s a movie star. If she were confident in her acting, she wouldn’t be trying to be Martha Stewart.
This not-so-subtle “go fuck yourself, Gwynn” is obviously in reference to the huge ordeal Paltrow made about her “conscious un-coupling” (AKA a fucking divorce) this past year. Martha in for the kill. Prison obviously taught her well.
[via Huffington Post]
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