Study Concludes Men Don’t Mature Until 43, No Women Are Surprised

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In a study conducted by Nickelodeon UK, researchers found that, on average, men don’t reach maturity until age 43. Women everywhere may now begin saying, “I told you so.”

The study gives a list of qualifying immature behaviors which includes, “eating fast food at 2:00 A.M.,” “playing video games,” and “not being able to cook simple meals.” Sound familiar? Well start getting used to it ladies, because it looks like you could be dealing with this for the next 20 years.

The rest of the study verifies what women have always known was painfully obvious – that we mature light-years before men, 80% of women believe that men will remain childish forever, and almost half of surveyed women have felt like their boyfriend’s mother at some point. We’ve always known that men are pigs, but now actual scientific evidence exists to back us up. I have to admit, I’ve been dreaming of a day when I would wake up after a shack in a room not covered in Hot N Ready pizza boxes, Sports Illustrated magazines, and three-week-old laundry, but it looks like that will just have to remain a dream for now.

To all guys reading this – it’s time to grow the fuck up. To be perfectly honest, this is ridiculous. I can put up with your burping, womanizing, shotgunning and video-gaming during college. I even expect it to a certain extent. But you should seriously have (at least begun to) get your shit together, gotten out of your parents’ basement, and learned how to do your own fucking laundry by the time you’re 23, much less 43. Let me give you a hint – we might even be slightly more willing to do that thing you want us to do in bed if you Febreeze your room every once in a while and don’t have your Call of Duty headset on 24/7. I’m just saying. If that’s not enough of an incentive for you, I don’t know what is.

So ladies, on behalf of all of us, start convincing your men to get their shit together. It’s either that or finally start to exploit our daddy issues. Either way.

[Ed. Note: I do my own laundry, can cook, and pay all my bills on time, but I will go to my damn grave laughing at poop, so just deal with it. – Bacon]

[via The Vancouver Sun]

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RecruitmentChairTSM (@TheRecruitChair) is a contributing writer for Total Sorority Move. This current grad student and ex-sorority girl survives solely on Diet Coke and the tears of the pledges she personally victimized. She's a Monica, a Marnie, a Miranda, and a Regina. Her favorite hobbies include drinking $14 bottles of wine and binge-watching season 2 of Grey's Anatomy until she cries. You can send her annoying e-mails at RecruitChairTSM@gmail.com

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