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On The 12 Days Of Christmas, My Single Friends Gave To Me

On The 12 Days Of Christmas, My Single Friends Gave To Me

On the first day of Christmas, my single friends gave to me
A barely wrapped pack of Plan B

On the second day of Christmas, my single friends gave to me
Two mental breakdowns
And a barely wrapped pack of Plan B

On the third day of Christmas, my single friends gave to me
Three comparisons about how I’m the Charlotte to your Carrie
Two mental breakdowns
And a barely wrapped pack of Plan B

On the fourth day of Christmas, my single friends gave to me
Four drunken pep talks
Three “you’re the Charlotte to my Carries”
Two mental breakdowns
And a barely wrapped pack of Plan B

On the fifth day of Christmas, my single friends gave to me
A MILLION QUESTIONS ABOUT AN ENGAGEMENT RING
Four drunken pep talks
Three “you’re the Charlotte to my Carries”
Two mental breakdowns
And a barely wrapped pack of Plan B

On the sixth day of Christmas, my single friends gave to me
Six shots of whiskey
A MILLION QUESTIONS ABOUT AN ENGAGEMENT RING
Four drunken pep talks
Three “you’re the Charlotte to my Carries”
Two mental breakdowns
And a barely wrapped pack of Plan B

On the seventh day of Christmas, my single friends gave to me
Seven voicemails from the bar bathroom
Six shots of whiskey
A MILLION QUESTIONS ABOUT AN ENGAGEMENT RING
Four drunken pep talks
Three “you’re the Charlotte to my Carries”
Two mental breakdowns
And a barely wrapped pack of Plan B

On the eighth day of Christmas, my single friends gave to me
Eight questions on Beth’s “status”
Seven voicemails from the bar bathroom
Six shots of whiskey
A MILLION QUESTIONS ABOUT AN ENGAGEMENT RING
Four drunken pep talks
Three “you’re the Charlotte to my Carries”
Two mental breakdowns
And a barely wrapped pack of Plan B

On the ninth day of Christmas, my single friends gave to me
Their preferences on a wedding that’s not even a real thing yet
Eight questions on Beth’s “status”
Seven voicemails from the bar bathroom
Six shots of whiskey
A MILLION QUESTIONS ABOUT AN ENGAGEMENT RING
Four drunken pep talks
Three “you’re the Charlotte to my Carries”
Two mental breakdowns
And a barely wrapped pack of Plan B

On the tenth day of Christmas, my single friends gave to me
10 doorbell rings at 4 am
Preferences on a wedding that’s not even a real thing yet
Eight questions on Beth’s “status”
Seven voicemails from the bar bathroom
Six shots of whiskey
A MILLION QUESTIONS ABOUT AN ENGAGEMENT RING
Four drunken pep talks
Three “you’re the Charlotte to my Carries”
Two mental breakdowns
And a barely wrapped pack of Plan B

On the eleventh day of Christmas, my single friends gave to me
11 likes on Insta
10 doorbell rings at 4 am
Preferences on a wedding that’s not even a real thing yet
Eight questions on Beth’s “status”
Seven voicemails from the bar bathroom
Six shots of whiskey
A MILLION QUESTIONS ABOUT AN ENGAGEMENT RING
Four drunken pep talks
Three “you’re the Charlotte to my Carries”
Two mental breakdowns
And a barely wrapped pack of Plan B

On the twelfth day of Christmas, my single friends gave to me
12 cans of Natty
11 likes on Insta
10 doorbell rings at 4 am
Preferences on a wedding that’s not even a real thing yet
Eight questions on Beth’s “status”
Seven voicemails from the bar bathroom
Six shots of whiskey
A MILLION QUESTIONS ABOUT AN ENGAGEMENT RING
Four drunken pep talks
Three “you’re the Charlotte to my Carries”
Two mental breakdowns
And a barely wrapped pack of Plan B

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lnsayers

My state gave you J. Law, Clooney, two-fifths of the Backstreet Boys, and multiple fifths of bourbon. The SEC is better, Beyoncé is my Jesus, and one time I wrote a cover letter using Brian McKnight lyrics. Psuedo-adult by day; PGP, TFM, and TSM contributor by night. Please don't ask me to do math.

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