Oscars Gift Bags To Include Vodka, Vibrators, And Breast Lifts, NBD


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Celebrities get it all—fame, fortune, Instagram followers, and apparently really expensive gift bags. In fact, Forbes reported that this year’s Oscars gift bags are worth about $230,000 and will be handed out to each of the 25 acting and directing nominees as well as the award show’s host, Chris Rock. So, why are they giving celebs even more cool things we’ll never be able to attain? Why, to promote drinking vodka, women’s arousal devices, and state-of-the-art breast lifts, of course. These companies are hoping to get a little advertisement out of the stars for their high-class (and occasionally weird) products.

Here’s a complete list of everything that will be included in each gift bag.

  • VIP all-inclusive trip to Israel courtesy of ExploreIsrael.com, $55,000
  • Fully private, 15-day tour in Japan, $54,000
  • A year of Audi A4 rentals from Silvercar, $45,000
  • A lifetime supply of Pu-erh Tea Nouishing Cream and Cleansing Bar, $31,200
  • Halo, Purely for Pets 10,000 meal donation to an animal shelter of choice, $6,300
  • “Ultimate Fitness Package” from Fit Club TV, $6,250
  • 740 Park MD, which is to my understanding a high-tech face lift, $5,530
  • A gift certificate for Steamist Total Sense Home Spa Collections, $5,060
  • A stay at the Grand Hotel Tremezzo with views of Bellagio and Grigne Mountains, $5,000
  • A stay at Grand Hotel Excelsior Vittoria with a view of Mount Vesuvius, $5,000
  • A three-day stay at Golden Resort & Spa in San Marcos, California, $4,800
  • A gift from Delovery, a gift basket service to help send your friends gifts because you’re a lazy friend, $2,000
  • The “Vampire Breast Lift” procedure, $1,900
  • Three fitness training sessions and full kitchen sweep with Jay Cardiello, $1,400
  • Ten personal training services with Alexis Seletzky, $900
  • Sundial Powder Coating, a finish for metal and aluminum products, $500
  • A Belldini clothing company giveaway, $300+
  • Personalized M&M’s, $300
  • A gift amount from JOSEPH’s Toiletries, maker of “advanced toilet paper,” $275
  • Nuelle Fiera Arouser For Her, AKA a fancy vibrator, $250
  • Professional hairstyling “Tools by Gina,” $250
  • Haze Dual V3 Vaporizer, for those who vape, $249.99
  • Healing Saint package by Dr. Jane 360, $193
  • Lat & Lo necklace with coordinates of Dolby Theater, where the Oscars are being held, $150
  • Caolion Ultimate Pore Care gift set, $134
  • A gift from Tribute, a company that will make a collaborative video for someone you care about, $125
  • Zekkle Edge wallet, $125
  • Professional brush set from Sedona Lace, $109.95
  • Rogue Maple syrup, $99
  • Mezcal El Silencio (alcohol), $75
  • Signature Vodka (more alcohol), $70
  • A gift from Phantom Glass for tech items, $49.95-$59.95
  • MemoBottle, a flat water bottle, $47
  • A gift from Greenhill Winery & Vineyards (probably not boxed wine), $39
  • Sweet treats from Chocolatines, $35
  • Slimware kitchen items, $29.95
  • A gift from Farm Wife Style, a rustic charm jewelry company, $25
  • DandiPatch, an armpit patch to absorb nasty sweat, $21
  • Purely Inspired Organic Protein, $19.97
  • Hydroxcut Gummies, $19.88
  • Gleener on the Go, travel fuzz remover because that’s very important, $11.99
  • And, lastly, the Mission 1 Clean Protein Bar, $5.64/box

I don’t know about you, but I’m pretty sure Leo and Matt won’t be needing, like, any of those things. So, guys, would you mind spreading the love a little? C’mon. Throw a girl some weight-loss gummies or something. You can already afford this stuff. Upper middle class peasants need face lifts, too, you know.

[via Forbes]

Image via MidoSemsem / Shutterstock.com

Who said you can't be smart and funny? When I'm not writing for TSM, you can find me studying into oblivion, downing a bottle of chardonnay, and/or sobbing for reasons I have yet to understand. All hate fan mail can be sent to premed.donna.tsm@gmail.com.

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