People Are Throwing “Hurricane Parties” Instead Of Evacuating, Because Florida


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To be honest, I’m probably the most ill-equipped person to write about what’s happening in Florida right now. I come from the land of tornados and meth epidemics, a.k.a. Missouri. The closest thing we have to a hurricane can be found at Six Flags, along with a 10:1 obesity ratio and a plethora of rancid-smelling turkey legs. And yet, I can’t look away from the hoards of Florida folks who are responding to the president’s evacuation plea with a “Thanks, but no thanks.”

Who are we to tell the good people of America’s down under to heed the warnings of meteorologists and politicians and clear out? They know what they’re doing, and I say we all just leave them to board up their windows and down some Bacardi. It’s their god-given right as American citizens to risk their lives for the sake of a “hurricane party,” which according to the great Rachel Varina, is a “way of life in Florida.”

#hurricaneparty #hurricanematthew #daytonabeach #beachlife #a1a

A photo posted by Omar Siddiqui (@dromarsid) on

Hurricane Party tonight! Because who else is in the hot tub during a cat 4 hurricane #hurricaneparty #hurricanematthew

A photo posted by Nadine ♥ (@thatbitchnadine) on

If you think I’m scared for these people, you’re goddamn right. If I were 1200 miles east of the great ATX I’d be shitting my pants right now. I have it on good authority (the internet’s) that over 300,000 people are already left without power. But these folks are probably just versed in the ways of hurricanes, and I really can’t hate them for it. All I can do is pray that have a stocked pantry and a shitload of umbrellas, or sandbags, or whatever it is people use to combat 130 MPH winds and torrential downpour.

[via Elite Daily]

Image via Shutterstock

Lucky Jo is much less medicated than her mother and sister, and she tends to think that’s a good thing. She's the newest full-time addition to the Grandex office, which is probably why they gave her the shittiest desk. In her free time she enjoys scaring small children, judging her peers, and condescendingly talking to GDIs at Starbucks. Follow her on twitter for cat memes and complaints. Email her at

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