“Sorry, You Actually Weren’t Accepted” -Drexel University, To 500 Students


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"Sorry, You Actually Weren't Accepted" -Drexel University, To 500 Students

For most high school seniors who still give many fucks about many things, the college application process is a big deal. For me, I kind of wung it (winged it?) and assumed that I’d get in somewhere and that everything would be fine. After college, I just assumed I’d get a job somewhere, and things would be fine. and I’m not saying I’m a fortune-teller, but I got into college, I got a job after college, and things were just fine. I’ve never understood stress over things like that, but I’m also the kind of person who buys new underwear instead of doing laundry, so don’t listen to any of my life philosophies.

In any case, some high school seniors who thought they ‘d be attending Drexel University in Philadelphia in the fall were pretty heartbroken to learn that they received their acceptance letters in error — and by “some,” I mean 500. Drexel sent FIVE. HUNDRED. false acceptance letters to unwitting incoming freshmen.

Oh. My. God. Can you imagine if you could just “undo” shit like this? Imagine the possibilities.

• “You received my 32 text messages and nine phone calls last night in error. I apologize for the inconvenience.”
• “My nudie pics found their way to your phone by accident. You did not actually receive them. Proceed as if you’ve never seen those images. Thank you for your understanding.”
• “The ingestion of those 3,000 calories by way of Taco Bell last night are a fallacy. You will actually not experience a foul combination of the shits and regret this morning. Please disregard.”
• “After our recent P in V interaction, it has come to my attention that our evening was actually a fallacy. You are, hereby, unfucked.”

I can get on board with this, Drexel. Nice work.

[via Huffington Post]

Veronica (@VeronicaRuckh) is the Director of Total Sorority Move for Grandex, Inc. After having spent her undergraduate years drinking $4 double LITs on a patio and drunk texting away potential suitors, she managed to graduate with an impressive GPA and an unimpressive engagement ring -- so unimpressive, in fact, some might say it's not there at all. Veronica has since been fulfilling her duties as "America's big," a title she gave to herself with the help of her giant ego. She has recently switched from vodka to wine on weekdays. Email her at veronica@grandex.co

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