In this month’s feature on what crazy bullshit Taylor Swift is doing to protect her brand/art/image, she recently took out an insurance policy on her legs. Yup, I think Taylor just out-Taylored herself. As we all know, Taylor Swift is known for her tall, lanky, awkward body almost as much as she’s known for her penchant for writing songs about her exes. I’m sure you’ve seen the GIFs:
The joke’s on us, though, because Taylor Swift’s legs are worth a reported $40 million. Taylor and her tall, skinny, bird legs are
awkwardly dancing laughing all the way to the bank. I mean, I know they’re long, but really? $40 million? Apparently Taylor Swift and her crackdown legal team (the same people who copyrighted ITaughtTaylorSwiftHowToGiveHead.com) looked into insuring Swift’s legs just in case something bad happened to them during one of her routines. You know, because Taylor Swift might go rogue with one of her awkward pop, lock, and drops and injure herself. Even Taylor Swift’s legal team is worried for her safety when she goes a little too hard with the choreography.
I want to know what exactly has to happen for Taylor Swift to get this insurance payout. Does she have to physically lose them in some kind of freak accident? Will a small knee scrape or a particularly ugly bruise count for half of the reported $40 million? So many questions that will probably never be answered.
“It seems like a ludicrous sum, but if something was to happen to her legs, Swift wouldn’t be able to give her signature stage performances,” a source told The National Enquirer. “Signature stage performances,” LOL. Yeah, because I don’t know what the world would do without a performance like this:
And who could forget, THIS:
HOW WOULD WE SURVIVE?! WE NEED YOU AND YOUR $40 MILLION LEGS, TAYLOR! Good call, Taylor Swift’s legal team. I don’t know if I want to live in a world where Taylor Swift doesn’t risk bodily harm to entertain me with her totally GIF-able dance moves..
[via NY Daily News]
Image via Shutterstock