The 4 Best Uses For The Words “I Love You”

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The 4 Best Uses For The Words %22I Love You%22

Three little words. So much power. I would argue they might be the most manipulative words you ever say. These are the top ways to harness them.

1.To Get Rid Of A Guy

As long as you don’t care about your victim or what he thinks of you, this is an extremely effective method of getting rid of a guy, permanently. Plus, it’s hilarious. It’s not as useful on strangers, because it’s not believable, but for the guy who’s a borderline stalker, it’s perfect. When you want to get that uggo to stop shamelessly hitting on you, just look him in the eyes and tell him you love him. As long as you can keep a straight face, he’ll be running for the hills. Problem solved. You won’t be hearing from him, and he will definitely stop trying to hook up with you, because he doesn’t want you to get “more attached.” Note: All future encounters will bring a new meaning to the word awkward, so avoid him at all costs (which is basically what you’ve been doing anyway).

2. To Get People To Do Things For You

This one might make you feel guilty. I hate trying to manipulate someone I really care about with an “I love you,” because it undermines its value when I actually mean it. But, whatever. Sometimes you have to do what you have to do to get what you want. Need money? “I love you, Daddy.” Dying for some new jewelry? “I love you, boyfriend” (plus a few physical favors). Need a favor from a girlfriend that requires some extra effort? “You’re such a great friend! I love you, girl,” and you’re good to go.

3. As A Tool Of Passive Aggression

If you’ve properly honed your skills of passive aggression, you know that in order to do it right, your target needs to feel the full-force of your hatred, but can never have an actual reason to call you a bitch. You need to keep it subtle and nuanced enough that others won’t be able to pick up on what you’re doing. When you’ve perfected this skill, if she tries to say something about it, she’ll seem like a paranoid crazy because no one will believe that you’re being mean to her. This is why the words “I love you” come in handy when dealing with a frenemy you have to be around on a fairly consistent basis. You can take a well-aimed shot at her and pass it off as an innocent joke with a simple “Oh, my God! Stop! You know I love you,” at the end of it. All of your mutual acquaintances will be none-the-wiser. Just be careful when it comes to frequency. If it’s an occasional, perfectly timed slight, you’ll quickly erode her self-esteem. Do it too much, and you’re going to get called out.

4. When You Actually Mean It

This may be sappy, but there is nothing like saying, “I love you,” to someone you actually love and hearing it right back. It’s fun to manipulate people at your will, but being appreciated and loved is the best. With all the trouble in the world today, people might just need a little love.

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  1. futureleader14

    Do you honestly hear yourselves, ladies? I know this is a humor website, but there’s nothing humorous when you act out the traits inherent in these columns, as I have seen so many of you do. The whole of #2 and #3 just make your morals seem totally nonexistent, and it pisses me off to see that you actually do them in real life.

    ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 1 year ago
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  2. futureleader14

    Do you honestly hear yourselves, ladies? I know this is a humor website, but there’s nothing humorous when you act out the traits inherent in these columns, as I have seen so many of you do. The whole of #2 and #3 just make your morals seem as black as night.

    ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 1 year ago
    0