The 4 Types Of Seniors In Your Sorority

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4 Types Of Senior Girls

1. The “I’m So Over It” Senior

Every chapter has this girl. She looks down on anything and everything related to Greek Life and in most cases the college party mentality. She rarely gets fucked up anymore, even though her closest friends can recall her wildest and craziest sorority girl days like when she stood on top of the bar at 4am during Greek Week chanting all your chapter’s recruitment songs at the top of her lungs. Come senior year, though, she has given every shirt with letters on it to her grand-little and uses phrases like, “I need to get my shit together” — and actually means it. She’ll opt for a quiet night in and maybe get a little crazy with some Pinot Grigio (because boxed wine is so beneath her). Watch out for her during senior week though – she’s most likely going to cry her eyes out when she gets wasted for the first time all semester and realizes how much she missed out on. After all, she was probably watching the season finale of The Voice while someone was ripping body shots off your stomach last Mexican Monday.

To summarize: Don’t be this girl. You have the rest of your postgrad life and beyond to be a boring, responsible contributor to the human race. Your last two semesters of college are certainly not the time to be thinking about anything other than which cheap vodka you’ll be stocking up on this week. And for the semi-responsible type – how to handle a brutal hangover at your internship the morning after a long night of intoxicated recklessness.

2. The “Chapter Meeting Bully” Senior

This girl is a senior with lots of prior knowledge to all things Greek Life and SHE WANTS YOU TO KNOW IT! Chapter meetings would not be complete without her butting in every five minutes or less to suggest to (or in most cases correct) a younger sister on the way things have traditionally been done. This senior is very bitter about her reign of hierarchy coming to an end, and she knows that the corporate world awaits her, and she will soon be a nothing on the radar once again. She thinks she’s being helpful, but every sister in the chapter meeting dreads the slow build up to when she raises her hand. For the most part, the president and e-board will try to ignore her, but since she is the self-appointed source of chapter knowledge, she will usually call on herself in times of disagreement or confusion.

To summarize: This is not the girl to be during your senior year. While the “Over It” mentality is looked down upon in terms of a sorority girl retiring one year too early, your senior year is also the year when you choose to let your responsibilities in the chapter slide. The new girls are there to take care of service and philanthropy. A great philosophy is showing up to one service project a semester, so you don’t look like a complete asshole. Oh, and put a little Bailey’s in your decaf coffee when you do make it to chapter meetings. You can turn the senior bully’s comments into a fun back row drinking game.

3. The “Drinking Extraordinaire” Senior

Ah, the time has come. Finally, all of your friends are legal, so fake IDs are finally a thing of the past. Really, this means mixers and frat parties are to be taken lightly (after all, how many sweaty dudes can you really grind agains for four years without catching some kind of gross infection?) and the bar is now your throne. Go as wild and crazy as you please. This is the “Go hard or go home” mentality, also known as one last year to live it up before your parents completely cut you off and your weekends become your only source of happiness. Of course, there may be the occasional night where you have to stay in and study (aka an Adderall and caffeine binge, because you put off that test to party your ass off for your last Greek Week), but by your senior year, you should be an expert at setting yourself up with an easy, ideal schedule that works around your main priority of being a black out bitch.

To summarize: This is the ideal way to live out your senior year with no regrets. No longer do you have to slum it in frat houses, or worry if your second cousin’s ID can carry you bar hopping through the night. Finally, you can party like the senior you are and get fucked up as often as you please. You are still a sorority girl at heart (you know you will still have a rush crush on that adorable freshman come recruitment), but you are past the days of letting your letters define you. Now you define them!

4. The “Expired Frat Rat” Senior

While the drinking extraordinaire manages to get fucked up, as much if not more than she did freshman year, she knows that with age comes SOME personal responsibility. As mentioned before, she forgoes the annual CEO and Executive Ho party for a few (ok 10+) lemon drop shots on an average Wednesday. However, there is always the senior who can’t let go of her past (or in most cases the opportunity to get smashed in a bathroom by an inebriated sophomore). Not to make this girl sound like a total slut, but she’s a frat rat, who never grew out of it. In some cases. this is okay. If you stay in your best guy friend’s room to get fucked up with your crew and make fun of the slutty freshman that are stumbling around, you get a pass. However, if you’re not close with the guys who live at the frat house, and you’re doing keg stands every other night and know the name of every pledge, you should probably get your priorities in check.

To summarize: There’s nothing wrong with getting fucked up nearly every night of the week your senior year. However at this point you should be beyond the annual case race, and taking your talents to the bar. Of course, there are some exceptions. Greek Week you better have your ass there and you most certainly should make appearances throughout the semester so no one mistakes you for a stuck-up, “Over it” bitch. It’s a guarantee that you will have more respect from the frat guys, as well as way more respect for yourself if you steer clear from open parties. You will thank yourself later.

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