The Official 2016 Spring Break Bucket List


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Nice Move

Spring Break

  1. Shotgun a beer. Even if you have to fake it and give up halfway through.
  2. And volunteer yourself for the chugging competition.
  3. Or your best friend who can’t swallow to save her life.
  4. Go TOFTB.
  5. And do it without a bra underneath.  Because come on, you’re better than that.
  6. Hook up with a random.
  7. Or with your boyfriend/fuck buddy/FWB.
  8. Or yourself, okay? Just get off. At least once.
  9. Don’t text your ex.
  10. Sober. Just don’t text him sober.
  11. Two words: keg stand.
  12. Eat enough carbs to gain back all of that weight you lost in preparation for spring break, plus a little extra.
  13. And order the most high-cal high-sugar drink offered at the bar. You earned it after all of the weeks of turning down pizza.
  14. Speaking of pizza, pose with a slice. You know you want to.
  15. Ask someone to take a picture, and spend an embarrassingly long amount of time making sure it’s perfect.
  16. “Wait can you just take one more?”
  17. “No, like this.”
  18. “And now one with my back turned? Just make sure my shoulders look skinny, okay?”
  19. Get a free drink at every place you go to.
  20. And use a fake name with every try-hard guy who buys it for you.
  21. Be naked for activities that you would normally be clothed for.
  22. Like, swimming. Or running around. Or visiting your old FWB who decided to come on the trip with a different girl.
  23. Start drinking before noon.
  24. Start drinking tequila before noon.
  25. Have sex someplace unexpected, like the beach. Or your grandparent’s house.
  26. Wear a captain’s hat as much as physically possible.
  27. And put on pants as little as physically possible.
  28. Get a tattoo, a piercing, or some sort of hair wrap. Regret it later.
  29. Dance on an elevated surface or GTFO.
  30. Cry your little heart out in public.
  31. Make out with a girl. Just do it.
  32. Be in the center of a dance circle. If the whole entire crowd starts chanting your name, so be it.
  34. Tan like you’ve never tanned before.
  35. And wear a swimsuit that will give you horrible tan lines for the rest of the year.
  36. Pet some motherfucking puppies.
  37. Stay up for twenty-four hours. Or sleep twenty-four hours. Either is impressive.
  38. Mopeds? Consider driving around on mopeds.
  39. And you better be using a fanny pack everywhere you go.
  40. Binge on a little Netflix because otherwise you might actually go into withdrawals.
  41. Walk around on the beach at night and think deep thoughts. Like what you want to do with your life. And if your hotel room service will deliver mozzarella sticks.
  42. Think twice before adding something to your Snapchat story, then do it anyways.
  43. And do literally everything for the ‘gram.
  44. Shoot them down, live it up, and soak it in. You only get a few chances to take a week off from life to drink like it’s your job and flirt like it’s your major. Don’t waste it.

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(yeahokaywhat) Aspiring to be the next Tina Fey, Rachel spends her free time doing nothing to reach that goal. While judging people based on how they use "they're" vs. "there" on social media, she likes eating buffalo chicken dip, watching other people's Netflix, and wearing sweatpants way more than is socially acceptable. Hate mail and puppy videos can be sent to:

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