There are a few things that got me through the ups and downs of college dating. My friends, boxes of rosé, my trusty vibrator (jk jk. Sort of), and “Sex and the City” marathons. The episodes seemed to perfectly align with my life — from the one where Big leaves Carrie for another girl, to the one where Carrie realizes she can’t be with seemingly perfect Aidan. Steve cheating, Charlotte being worried about the nanny, and all the while loving the totally wrong relationship our leading lady had — I. Was. Hooked. It was flawed. It was unrealistic. But it came from an honest place in a deep part of our hearts that we only gave into after a few too many drinks or the morning after when we were in bed and hungover.
So when I found out that the real-life Carrie Bradshaw, writer of the novel “Sex and the City” Candace Bushnell, got a Tinder and wrote a tell-all about it for Cosmopolitan, I put down my
cupcake smart water and kale (?) and got to reading. Basically, what happened was that Cosmo offered her money to get on Tinder and write about it. Sounds like a bad time, right? So, the 57-year-old who taught us about love (and non-love, and that cocktails are necessarily for ice skating) downloaded the app and got to swiping.
In her tell-all she talks to women from all walks of life about Tinder and the verdict? That it sort of sucks. She so much as called Tinder “the Mr. Big of dating,” so you know it’s pretty serious. Still, despite her immediate reaction, she set her age range to a young 22 to 38, got ready to be disappointed, and said she wasn’t expecting much.
But of course, because she’s Candace fucking Bushnell, she got a zillion matches at once. Most of the guys were saying that she was too good for Tinder (aren’t we all?), a lot of them were giving her lines, and one of them she agreed to meet for a date.
After three dates with the guy, things get very dramatic and “SATC”-ish (in a great way), and she ends up saying a lot of thought provoking girl power stuff that we adored out of Carrie Bradshaw. She explored why we go on dating apps (because we want love and we’re in a world where guys get what they want, and they get it fast), what dating was like before (much better, apparently), and that even if we don’t find love, we might find something else. And lucky for us, if you’re too lazy to read the few thousand word article, she condensed it into a short, one and a half minute video because, summer break.
So basically what it all comes down to is:
• Stop putting guys’ wants ahead of your own. Which includes blow jobs.
• Actually, especially blow jobs.
• Things usually work out better for Candace Bushnell (and Carrie Bradshaw) than they do for us.
• But Tinder still sucks, even for Candance Bushnell.
• But that hasn’t stopped her from having a good time swiping away threes and flirting with tens.
You might not find love, but at least you’ll find some stories (or some STIs, if you’re not careful). Now to swipe right on a fuckboy, let him string us on for years, find the perfect guy, cheat on the perfect guy with the fuckboy, get back together with the perfect guy, dump the perfect guy, get back together with the fuckboy ex, plan a wedding with the fuckboy ex, get left by him, take him back, get married in a courthouse, and then cheat on him with our ex-perfect guy and then we’ll live happily ever after!.
To read the whole article, click here.
Image via Youtube