I really love the idea of being fit. I love imaging what my life would be life if I had a perfectly toned body, and droll-worthy abs. I picture myself “sexy” and skinny or whatever it is that society decides is beautiful du jour, and I feel inspired. I go to the gym. I eat kale (JK, I’ve never eaten kale. But I’ll eat lettuce), and I swear that I’ll never touch a carb again.
Then, a week later I remember that pizza exists and it all goes to shit. It’s not that I don’t respect myself and my body and my wellbeing. It’s just that, well, I respect pizza more.
And I’m not that only one. We all love pizza. A lot. So when Charlotte Palermino, a writer at Delish came up with a diet that mixed the dream of being skinny with the dream of only eating pizza, I thought it was too good to be true.
But it’s not. This genius of a woman, Charlotte, managed to go on a “pizza cleanse.” For a whole week she ate nothing but pizza. BUT WAIT IT GETS BETTER.
She lost five pounds. FIVE POUNDS. From eating cheese and carbs all week.
Basically she tested out tons of different pizza places in New York, ate leftover pizza for breakfast, and piled on the veggies on the occasional slice. But it’s not like she was starving herself. She would eat 6-12 slices a day. She would exercise a normal amount. She would eat pepperoni and extra cheese and real, non-healthy toppings.
And at first, it was great. Then, she said she felt misterable. Bloated, cranky, and had headaches. And then? She reached enlightment. On the 6th day she said she had tons of energy, her skin was clear, and she felt awesome. Her body had adjusted and she looked great. And by the end of the week? Not only did she still love pizza, but she managed to drop five pounds.
According to her article, she thinks she actually consumed fewer calories that week than she normally did. By cutting out alcohol (yeah, you have to do it. It wouldn’t be a cleanse if you didn’t suffer just a little bit) and desserts she managed to trim down without saying goodbye to the thing she loves most.
And while it’s not advised to eat pizza for a week, and crash diets literally never work, if you’re planning on going on a cleanse for an upcoming event you might as well lose the pounds while stuffing your face with pizza..