This Is How Much Your Boyfriend Actually Masturbates


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People masturbate. Guys do it. Girls do it. Animals do it (maybe, I don’t really know or care if that’s true). It’s easy, it’s fast, and it feels freaking amazing. But how much do you actually do it? Sure, when you’re watching a really hot episode of “Gossip Girl” and you start day dreaming about sitting on Chuck Bass’s face, then yes. Obviously you’re going to grab your rubber friend and some AAs. But how often does that happen? Once a week? Once a day?

But what about your boyfriend? He doesn’t do that, right? He has you. He doesn’t look at porn and play with his penis or any of that right? RIGHT?

LOL. Nah.

One 18-year-old guy, Karl Ryker, decided to track just that. He recorded how many times in three months he felt the urge to strip down and lotion up. But weirder than that, he then posted his findings to Imgur because, I don’t know. Still, the results are alarming AF. Sure, before we totally freak out, there are a few things we need to consider. First he’s eighteen, which is basically the horniest age in a guy’s entire life. Second, he didn’t consume alcohol or smoke weed (which inhibits sex drive), and third he was “not dating” at the time so yeah. His numbers are pretty high, but it should give you an idea of just how much your boyfriend goes to pound town. With himself.

Behold, the grossest, most fascinating graphs you might ever see.

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Yeah. You read all of that right. He used porn over 90 percent of the time. He jerks off during the day about 20 percent of the time. Do you know what your boyfriend does during the day when you’re at class/spin/eating froyo and talking shit about him? He’s firing up some porn and getting it on. After doing some light math, it looks like a boyfriend, who spends the night with his girlfriend most nights and has sex both in the evening and in the morning (which is a lot) is still masturbating about 11 times a month.

So what now? Make sure to give him some afternoon delight? Steal all of his lotion and block all of the porn from his computer? I say, if you can’t beat ’em, join ’em. Might as well get yours while he’s getting his. So the next time you feel the urge, go for it. Because I can promise you that your boyfriend is doing the same. exact. thing.

[via Cosmopolitan, Imgur]

Image via Shutterstock

(yeahokaywhat) Aspiring to be the next Tina Fey, Rachel spends her free time doing nothing to reach that goal. While judging people based on how they use "they're" vs. "there" on social media, she likes eating buffalo chicken dip, watching other people's Netflix, and wearing sweatpants way more than is socially acceptable. Hate mail and puppy videos can be sent to:

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