Love makes us do the darndest things. Beatrice Walker, an unhappily married woman, discovered her husband was cheating on her a while back. Instead of confronting the situation and dumping his cheating ass, she channeled her inner Dixie Chick and attempted murder him by putting a rat-based liquid poison on her vagina to kill him when he went down on her.
“I told his ass not to fuck around on me and be fucking other bitches behind my back, I bet he won’t do it no more.”
I bet there are a lot of things he won’t be doing from now on. Mr. Walker said he knew something was wrong, because Beatrice had the Bell Biv Devoe song “Poison” playing on repeat as he was about to do the deed. I can’t make this shit up. His mistress, Valerie Greene, had the following to say in official court documents:
“I knew something was wrong when he wouldn’t leave the house to come get this pussy, he know we always fuck Thursday.”
Well said, Valerie. This is the kind of hard-hitting journalism I live to present to you people. Beatrice faces 15 years in prison for attempted murder, and is currently being held on $150,000 bond. As for Mr. Walker, he survived the deadly cunnilingus and had the following to say about the situation:
“I still love my wife but I ain’t eating or drinking shit she give me every again, not even a bottle of water.”
A true testament that love triumphs all..
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