To Celebrate The First Day Of Fall, Sorority Girls Get Excited About Christmas


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Today, September 22, marks the first official day of fall, but as any basic knows, Fall, lovingly dubbed “white girl season” began in August when you started looking for school supplies and oversized sweaters. Sure, you wouldn’t be able to rock your new corduroy skirt for months, but it was the fact that it was being sold in stores that really counted, because if we don’t care about consumerism, what do we care about?

Any good sorority girl has had her Halloween costume planned since July. She’s been pinning pumpkin flavored recipes for weeks. And she hasn’t purchased an outfit that didn’t require booties since before she can remember. So what’s a basic to do when the rest of the world finally catches up to the season we’ve been celebrating since the Fourth of July?

Get fucking excited for Christmas. We took it to the streets to confirm.

I know I’m a little bit ahead of everyone right now, but I’ve always been early to trends, and I am just DYING for something velvet to wear to a Christmas party this year. I couldn’t find the *perfect* outfit last year and I am NOT about to let that happen again. Worst year of my life. I’m going to keep buying potential Christmas dresses from now until December. I’m thinking something red.

-Amy, 21, basic

Oh, of course I’ve already started Christmas shopping. I mean, I keep a list of potential presents to buy people year-round. It’s just careful planning. And besides, having a list of gifts I plan to buy makes me feel better about printing out and laminating the list of gifts I want.

-Rachel, 19, basic

No, I mean, I really try not to get too Christmasy until it’s time. I won’t listen to Christmas music until after Thanksgiving. I mean, I’ll THINK about listening to it. And I’ll sing some songs to myself. But I have to keep that magic time magical. Except I will probably blast some Mariah Carey “All I Want For Christmas Is You,” but that’s honestly more about Mariah than it is about Christmas. And if some other Christmas jams autoplay after that, I’m not going to like…turn it off, ya know? Nobody’s got time for that bah humbug shit.

-Jessica, 24, basic

Honestly, Hobby Lobby already has Christmas decorations out, so what am I just NOT going to buy the perfect ornament if it’s staring me in the face? That’s insane.

-Alyssa, 20, basic

Happy Fall, everyone.

Veronica (@VeronicaRuckh) is the Director of Total Sorority Move for Grandex, Inc. After having spent her undergraduate years drinking $4 double LITs on a patio and drunk texting away potential suitors, she managed to graduate with an impressive GPA and an unimpressive engagement ring -- so unimpressive, in fact, some might say it's not there at all. Veronica has since been fulfilling her duties as "America's big," a title she gave to herself with the help of her giant ego. She has recently switched from vodka to wine on weekdays. Email her at

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