University Of Florida’s DG Trash-Talks Rival Sororities In “I’m On A Boat” Parody Video

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Nice Move

It’s Thursday, folks, so I wanted to throw back to this little gem that you may never have seen before, because trust me when I tell you, it’s awesome. During the University of Florida’s spirit week about four years ago, a few DGs decided to amp up their sisters with a little video. And just how do you get Delta Gamma excited about Delta Gamma? By reminding them how shitty every other sorority on campus is, to the tune of “I’m on a boat,” of course.

Things DG likes:

  1. Throwing gammies up. That’s right, everyone. It’s not a handicapped sailor’s salute. Their arms are in the shape of a Gamma, when DGs throw what they know.
  2. The F-word.
  3. Hippie headbands.

Things DG hates:

  1. Zeta.

The video’s got everything. Clever lyrics. Props. Ruthless insults to competitors, while they dance all over their front lawns (how they pulled that off without getting caught, I don’t know). The quality is pretty bad, as the girls put forth their best effort at damage control after the private “for Delta Gammas’ eyes only” video was leaked to the rest of the school (allegedly by someone’s boyfriend), but the lyrics are on point.

From now until forever, you’ll hear me shouting “They’re fuuuucked on biiiiid day,” when the Lonely Island Boys’ song plays at the bar. PanLAM <333 The memberships of all three girls from the video were terminated after the masterpiece went public, and Delta Gamma was put on social probation, so I wouldn’t suggest trying this at home (I would, actually, I just wouldn’t suggest filming it), unless your sorority’s motto is “providing entertainment for all, at the cost of our chapter’s reputation,” in which case, please. More of this.

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Veronica (@VeronicaRuckh) is the Director of Total Sorority Move for Grandex, Inc. After having spent her undergraduate years drinking $4 double LITs on a patio and drunk texting away potential suitors, she managed to graduate with an impressive GPA and an unimpressive engagement ring -- so unimpressive, in fact, some might say it's not there at all. Veronica has since been fulfilling her duties as "America's big," a title she gave to herself with the help of her giant ego. She has recently switched from vodka to wine on weekdays. Email her at veronica@grandex.co

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