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Vitamin C’s Tearjerker “Graduation Song” Rewritten For A Generation Of Degenerates

Graduation Song

This one’s for you, seniors. Read it with the video below for ultimate nostalgic potential.

And so we drank all night because tomorrow, that’s it
Walking ‘cross that stage feeling oh-so legit
It’s hard to believe that we’re all done
Four years of adventures and way too much fun
But when we leave this time we won’t be coming back
No more happy hour and deciding to shack
And you don’t really know what you want to say
Since this great university changed you in so many ways
Cause we’re moving on and we can’t believe
We have to pack up our shit since they’re making us leave
And I keep thinking of my freshmen year
I didn’t know what to do
And was full of fear
But there was so much stuff
I couldn’t get enough
Meeting new friends and flirting with the boys
And we would take so many shots and we’d get so drunk
Staying out late cause who cares if we flunk
And this is how it feels

As we go on
We can’t remember
All the times we
Drank together
And as our lives change
Come whatever
We will still be
Facebook Friends Forever

So we still can’t find jobs
And LOL at money
When we look back now
We regret our beer tummy
Will we still keep in contact with our college best friends?
Still be chugging wine until the bottle ends
Will the slutty standards chair still be a total bitch?
Can your hot friend find a man who will make her super rich?
I keep, keep thinking that it’s not the end
Keep on thinking we’ll all be back again
And this is how it feels

As we go on
We can’t remember
All the times we
Drank together
And as our lives change
Come whatever
We will still be
Facebook Friends Forever

Chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug
Chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug
Chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug
We will still be Facebook friends forever

Will we stress about tomorrow like we’re stressing ’bout now?
Can we succeed much out there?
Can we find jobs somehow?
I guess I thought that I would be ready
And my path would be clear and much more steady
Will these lessons I learned help me wherever I go?
What will I be? Will I ever really know?
I keep, keep thinking that it’s not the end
Keep on thinking we’ll all be back again

As we go on
We can’t remember
All the times we
Drank together
And as our lives change
Come whatever
We will still be
Facebook Friends Forever

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Rachel Varina

(yeahokaywhat) Aspiring to be the next Tina Fey, Rachel spends her free time doing nothing to reach that goal. While judging people based on how they use "they're" vs. "there" on social media, she likes eating buffalo chicken dip, watching other people's Netflix, and wearing sweatpants way more than is socially acceptable.

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