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What Your Favorite Wine Says About You

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A sorority girl loves three things: wine, wine, and more wine.

Moscato 
The Moscato girl is sweet and sassy, but sometimes she can be a little cheap or juvenile. This is the first wine any girl ever tries, and it’s the perfect gateway wine for dipping your toes in the wine pool. Like her wine, this girl is the sweetest of her kind. Moscato is not known for its age, though, and this girl isn’t known for her maturity. You have to be careful with both; they can be hard to stomach sometimes.

Pinot Grigio
This wine is a mutation of Pinot Noir, and the girl who drinks it reflects its unconventional deviance. Pinot Grigio can range from light and crisp to full and complex, so it should come as no surprise that the girl who drinks it is quite the spitfire. One day she’s light, crisp, and chill, and the next day, she’s three steps ahead of you. She is so complex that she invented the word complex. (If you didn’t catch that one, I am so sorry for your childhood.) You never know what to expect from a Pinot Grigio–she might even throw in a little Noir sometimes.

Chardonnay
Widely renowned and internationally produced, Chardonnay is formed from a grape that’s famous for producing some of the finest wine in the world. Do I even have to describe this girl for you? The Chardonnay girl spends her summers in Barcelona and her winters in Turks and Caicos. She’s across the globe more than she’s at chapter, but despite the fact that she barely shows face, she’s still the center of attention whenever she goes. She embodies the elite spirit of Chardonnay in every way.

Merlot
Merlot is known for its approachable flavors, and the girl is known for her approachable personality. She might be even a little too approachable, if you know what I mean. Sure, she takes shots bought for her at the bar, and it’s kind of impressive how she never has to spend a dime on drinks, but rarely does she let it stop there. She’s the loosest girl in the sorority, and she shows us that maybe being as approachable as a Merlot isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

Cabernet Sauvignon 
The Cab Sauv girl has two personalities. This wine starts out one way and then transforms with age. The girl who drinks it starts out as a headstrong new member, who’s annoying as hell and hated by most. However, as she gets older, she eventually acquires a level head and a calmer demeanor. Just like her Cabernet Sauvignon alter ego, she becomes more silky and muted as she ages.

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HanTheMan

HanTheMan is in fact not a man, but a very preppy (and recently retired) sorority girl from the sunshine state who simply can never find another catchy name. She spends her free time strolling through central park and never leaves home without a spare bottle of glitter in her purse (you know... just in case). She's on a never ending voyage to find someone she can love *almost* as much as her dog.

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