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Your Relationship Sucks If You Want Sex Too Much

couple upset

When it comes to relationships, things can be pretty complicated. To make guys happy, for the most part, we have to make sandwiches, give blow jobs, and be cool with Monday, Thursday, and Sunday being dedicated to his side bitch, NFL. Despite our complaining, we put up with those demands because we know it makes him happy and honestly? We want a lot more shit.

Still, sometimes we don’t know what, exactly, makes us happy. We want him to surprise us with a present, but then he gets the wrong thing or we think we want him to order for us, but then it ends up feeling weird and overbearing. So to get to the point where you’re in a “long-term relationship” you have to learn what pushes the other person’s buttons and what gets them going. The only problem, we usually don’t even know what that means.

So science jumped in and told us to sit the fuck down. They have the answer. The key. The secret to the whole happy wife happy life situation: he needs to assume that you don’t want sex.

Seriously, that’s it. No, this isn’t an article dredged up from the 1950s. It turns out, some brains did some research and according to The Journal of Personality and Social Psychology him assuming you want less sex will actually make you happier. Basically, they asked LTR couples to complete surveys about their sexual desire for 21 days and the results were both interesting and hilarious.

Turns out, ladies are happier when their men assume they don’t want as much sex. But when guys assume their girls want to fuck like rabbits, the girls are a little less pleased.

There are lots of theories as to why this might be — the guy tries harder in bed to turn his girlfriend on because he assumes she doesn’t like sex as much, this reduces the guy’s feeling of being rejected, or that guys like the whole “playing coy” thing so girls get to just actually be coy if they want and it works.

Personally, I call bullshit. I’m pretty sure we all know the reason these women are happier than the women constantly getting hounded for sex. Two words: surprise penis. You know, the one that greets you all excited when you walk in the door after a loooong day. Or the one that wants to hang out when all you want to do is watch Netflix. Or the one that wants to bang three times a day when you’re good with a solid three times a week? The one you have to turn down because the thought of thrusting when all you want to do is watch “Keeping Up With The Kardashians” is just too much? Yeah. That penis.

If guys just let us come to them (literally) then the world would be a much happier place. But alas, that’s not how it works. I’m not saying you should give in to your guy whenever he wants to bang, but I’m not saying turn him down all of the time either. I guess I’m just saying if you plan on staying in a relationship learn how to communicate, learn how to take one for the team, and learn how to use a vibrator together. Jk on the last one. Sort of.

[via Broadly]

Image via Shutterstock

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Rachel Varina

(yeahokaywhat) Aspiring to be the next Tina Fey, Rachel spends her free time doing nothing to reach that goal. While judging people based on how they use "they're" vs. "there" on social media, she likes eating buffalo chicken dip, watching other people's Netflix, and wearing sweatpants way more than is socially acceptable.

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