In honor of #NYFW, we created a list of 10 of our favorite fall fashion items to get you through the best season of your life. These are best worn proudly while you sip some pumpkin spiced cider after a day of apple picking in the crisp, fall air.
1. Fall boots that are outside your budget. Come on, you wore the same boots all last year, so you HAVE to get a new pair.
Sure, you already own four pairs of black boots, but you’re recreating your wardrobe and you need something to go with your new fall jersey knit sweater. Besides, it’s kind of an investment. You pay money to look cute now so that some guy will eventually pay for everything for the rest of your life.
2. Pearl earrings to replace the ones you left at your casual summer hookup’s Hampton home.
Now that summer is over and his Hampton pool is closed, things have frozen over with the boy you were hanging out with in the warmer months. Both of you have silently let each other’s disappearing acts go uncontested, but he still has your fucking earrings. Doesn’t matter if they were your grandmother’s pearls–just get a new pair. It’s fall, and it’s time to get serious if you want a boyfriend by gift-getting season.
3. Hospital wristband for the blackout you will inevitably have after recruitment is over and your sisters are back in town.
You remembered not to eat lunch all week to prep for the Golf Pros and Tennis Hoes mixer, but you forgot that means you probably shouldn’t take five shots of Fireball on an empty (but flat) stomach. Whoops.
4. Puffer vest to wear as you take your 34th selfie with your boy in his new fleece and wayfarers.
This is especially important to make your Sunday Funday outfit look casual, despite the fact you spent 45 minutes curling your hair to get that “I woke up like this” look. All for the Instagrams.
5. Cute sneakers so that when you’re watching football, people will think, “Oh my God, that girl is wearing sneakers so casually. She must be so chill and laid back!”
They’ll think you’re so laid back and cool that they might even forget you yelled “Woo!” when the opposing team scored a touchdown, but whatever. You can’t be expected to pay attention to what’s happening on the screen the entire time. Then all the guys will want to date you because you’re the chill girl at the bar. Bravo.
6. College T-shirt or sweatshirt to talk shit about other teams any time you’re in a bar outside your college town.
Watch your school’s finest athletes play the field while you play the field yourself after impressively screaming the C-word a few times at some girl in lesser school colors. Everybody knows watching college football is your second chance to meet an Ivy League husband.
7. Statement necklace for the hangover you’ll have every Monday after day drinking for eight hours straight.
When you are literally too hungover to dress yourself, you can throw on a T-shirt and a statement necklace and voila! You look like Jackie O. A statement necklace makes the statement that you’re casual enough to wear a T-shirt, but you still expect to be wined and dined.
8. Promotional T-shirt for the marketing company you “intern” with this fall for your communications major.
You tell people you’re interning, but you’re really picking up extra cash for the holidays by working for a promotional marketing or events company. If you’re lucky, you’ll work for an alcohol brand and save money on the pregame bottles you’ll buy this fall. If only pharmacies needed to promote Adderall, because you look really good in white. You’re not really into working, but standing around looking pretty while handing out Red Bulls at a music festival isn’t really considered as “working,” anyway.
9. Body glitter for the Halloween costume that will be more revealing than your swimsuit.
It’s dark in October, so make sure you wear enough glitter so you’re completely reflective when stumbling to parties on Halloween. It really doesn’t matter what you are. As long as you put on glitter and fake eyelashes, you’ll fit right in.
10. Headband to look chic in SoulCycle while you spin your way to a Halloween body.
If you’re not on month two of Insanity by September 30, what are you even doing with your life? And if I have to explain why Halloween is so important, then you shouldn’t even be reading this.