Some girls are born with the gift of a kick-ass metabolism that allows them all the mozz sticks, pizza, and milkshakes they desire without ever gaining a pound. Then, there are the rest of us. Constantly fighting the battle between carbs and cardio. Wrestling between willpower and waistlines. Struggling between cravings and crunches. (I could go on, but I won’t.)
If you’re like me, you struggle to maintain that delicate balance between small indulgences and eating every piece of leftover birthday cake from your dad’s party three days ago (they were really small slices, so two was basically one REAL slice). On a day-to-day basis, these ten thoughts generally run through my head.
1. I’ll just start my diet tomorrow.
Today, I’m getting lunch with Meg and if we get lunch then we HAVE to get ice cream. It isn’t just a rule, it is tradition, and you don’t mess with tradition. Plus tonight I was supposed to go to that party and they always have lots and lots of shots, and I have to eat carbs too because I don’t want to get sick from alcohol without food in my stomach, plus I will drunk eat anyway, so I think tomorrow it is.
2.If I’m gonna start tomorrow I better take advantage of today.
Since today is my last day of “freedom,” I need to make the most of it so that by the end I have had so much crap to eat that I won’t WANT to eat anything but celery and quinoa for the rest of my life. So yes, I do want fries with that.
3. Ooh I better get a ton of “healthy” recipes on Pinterest.
Since I already decided to eat healthy I might as well change to a healthier lifestyle and stop eating out at Chipotle, Chick-fil-A, and PF Changs all the time. I will start cooking all of my own meals using only organic, natural, non-GMO ingredients. Plus according to Pinterest you can use avocado instead of butter in chocolate chip cookies, so those are basically a vegetable.
4. If I am going to become a legit cook, I need to go get some ingredients and kitchen supplies at the grocery store.
Plus, this grocery store is right next to Target, so I can go try on that new swimsuit I was planning to get for my end of summer pledge class rafting trip.
5. This swimsuit it so CUTE!
…on the hanger. This is one of those mirrors like at the carnivals that make you look fat isn’t it? Oh.my.god, no. it is just me! Ugh I need to tone my abs. and arms. and sides. and butt. Does my neck look bigger to you? I think my fingers gained weight.
6. Okay, I am buying all of this crap I don’t need from Target and then I am going straight to the gym.
Since I am going to be working out so much, I better grab a few extra sports bras and new running shorts while I’m here. And also maybe I should get a fitbit to show that I am really changing my lifestyle! And some Neutrogena wipes for after the gym, and a new headband to keep my hair out of my face while I run.
7. Here we are, the gym.
Oh no, everyone here seriously knows what they are doing. I’m just gonna run on the treadmill. Or maybe walk. Walking is still great exercise. I think I read somewhere that it burns more calories then running. Maybe.
8. Woo! This is great! I’ll switch to intervals– walk, run, walk, run.
Oops, I missed the 5:00 minute mark to switch back to running, so I better just wait until 6:00 because I can’t start at 5:07 or I will throw off my timing. Or maybe since I am more of a beginner gym goer, I will just walk today so I don’t overwhelm my body.
9. Okay, that was impressive of me
I can go home, shower, make a chia seed and kale smoothie and relax for a bit. Maybe I will even go on a hike later and by the end of the summer I will seriously have the hottest bod ever. I feel GREAT.
10. Post-shower hunger coming on strong
I forgot to buy chia seeds, so maybe I will just make a regular, all-fruit smoothie instead. Although I really should add a bit of yogurt so it isn’t too disgusting. Or actually just a tiny spoonful of vanilla ice cream will make it just the right amount of creamy. And while the carton is out, I might just eat a tiny bit, just a spoonful or two, or like, a small bowl, with a little bit of chocolate sauce. It’s fine, though, because I totally deserve this! I DID work out after all, so these calories don’t even count. Although, at this point, I know my mom is making that really good lasagna for dinner which isn’t super healthy, and my sister just bought some double stuffed Oreos, and if I don’t eat a few now there won’t be any left in a day or two, so I should probably just call today my last unhealthy day, and start on my diet tomorrow!.