10 Ways To Open A Bottle Of Wine Without A Bottle Opener

We’ve literally all been there. We invite the little over, grab a bottle or two of wine, and get ready for a girls’ night full of friend-bashing and drunken crying. And then, it happens: that heartbreaking moment when you go to grab the bottle opener only to realize it’s nowhere in sight.

Your heart stops and your brain goes fuzzy. Where is it? Did you leave it somewhere? Did someone borrow it? STEAL IT? Did it ever even exist at all? You start to evaluate your entire life’s worth as you attempt to hold back the tears welling up in your eyes.

But because we’re women and we’ve overcome our lack of voting rights, workplace inequality, and aging, we figure something out. Maybe we do the ol’ “push the cork in the bottle” trick, which means you have to drink the entire thing (like you weren’t going to already) or maybe you decide to just go out and buy a new corkscrew. Either way, it is a completely horrible experience. Here at TSM, we understand. And we want to help.

So, here are 10 unconventional ways to open a bottle of wine. We care about you, we love you, and we want the best for you–and that means getting drunk off of cheap wine. You’re welcome.