Never Have I Ever is perhaps one of the most fun games of all time. Except when it comes time to actually coming up with things you’ve never done — which simultaneously makes you feel uncreative, for not being able to think of anything, and like a terrible person, because well, you keep thinking of all the bad things you’ve done. Personally, I hate when people get weirdly specific “Never have I ever done any drugs harder than weed.” That person can shut the fuck up. And the person who has never “had sex with more than ten people”? That’s not even fucking grammatical. That’s an “I haven’t,” not an “I’ve never.” I digress. The worst person, perhaps, is the one saying ridiculous shit that no one in the room has ever done. “Never have I ever been in a porno. Never have I ever shot heroin.” Yeah, fucking duh. That person should be eliminated. If you say something and no one puts a finger down, you have to drink and go again.

So what’s left? Below are some fairly creative Never Have I Evers when you’re on the spot. Some of these are things most people have definitely done, so it’s good to get your nemesis to drop a finger, and some are probably just shit you haven’t done, but someone in the room has. Don’t worry, they all make you a bad person. No one cares about the guy who says he’s never been to Starbucks, or the girl who’s never seen a shooting star.

1. Kissed someone who doesn’t speak English
2. Seen an uncircumcised penis IRL
3. Shoplifted
4. Flashed my tits/streaked/been naked in public
5. Snuck out of a guy’s house
6. Gone skinny dipping
7. Purchased drugs
8. Worn chicken cutlets
9. Gone braless
10. Had sex in my parents’ house
11. Cheated on a test
12. Had sex overseas/in another country
13. Had sex in [neighboring state/city]
14. Drank Everclear
15. Drank Absinthe
16. Given road head
17. Received road head
18. Had a threesome
19. Had a foursome
20. Hooked up with more than one person in a week
21. Hooked up with more than one person in a night/within 24 hours
22. Made a sex tape
23. Taken a cumshot
24. Smoked a cigar
25. Thrown up at a bar
26. Made out with a bartender/bouncer
27. Given a rim job
28. Received a rim job
29. Put my finger in someone’s butt
30. Had a finger in my butt
31. Showered with someone
32. Had period sex
33. Done role play
34. Watched porn (alone, with someone)
35. Body shots
36. Shaved last-minute at a guy’s house
37. Slept at a frat house
38. Hooked up with someone in [name a frat]
39. Hooked up with someone in every frat on campus
40. Hooked up with an athlete
41. Pegged someone/been pegged
42. Had sex with someone more than five times
43. Used a vibrator
44. Used a vibrator (or other toy) with a partner
45. Gone to a sex shop
46. Edibles (pot brownies, etc)
47. Worn lingerie for someone
48. Hooked up with someone more than five years older (10 years older, 20, etc)
49. Hooked up with someone five or more years younger
50. Drunkenly wet the bed
51. Wet the bed with someone else in it
52. Had sex on the beach
53. Had sex in a public restroom/fitting room
54. Called someone the wrong name during a hookup
55. Flirted my way out of a ticket
56. Had parents walk in on me during sex
57. Had a roommate walk in on me during sex
58. Hooked up with someone for alcohol
59. Used a fake ID
60. Anal
61. Gone to class drunk
62. Gone to class stoned
63. Kissed at the top of the ferris wheel
64. Let someone go down on me if I haven’t showered
65. Used someone for sex
66. Used someone for meals/dates
67. Made out with a stripper
68. Hooked up with a friend’s sibling
69. Kissed someone of the same sex
70. Done drugs at a bar
71. Had sex in water (hot tub, swimming pool, natural water)
72. Taken Adderall
73. Sent a nude
74. Hooked up with someone I met on Tinder
75. Masturbated to someone in the room
76. Called someone “Daddy” in bed
77. Been set up with someone
78. Been tied up
79. Done any BDSM
80. Had an STD (HPV counts, suckers)
81. Lied to someone to get them into bed (name, age, fake accent, etc)
82. Drunk cried
83. Hit someone/been in a fight
84. Snuck out of my parents’ house
85. Been arrested/been in the back of a cop car
86. Cheated on someone
87. Been the other woman
88. Gotten whiskey dick
89. Taken down a monster cock
90. Squirted
91. Gone to a strip club
92. Lost underwear at someone’s house
93. Passed out in public
94. Cum in under two minutes
95. Been kicked out of a bar
96. Given someone the wrong number on purpose
97. Ghosted someone
98. Gone commando
99. Sexted the wrong person
100. Taken Plan B
101. Gotten a dick pic

Pro-tip: tally how many of these you’ve done to see if you’re a bad person! Fun!

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Veronica Ruckh

Veronica (@VeronicaRuckh) is the Director of Total Sorority Move for Grandex, Inc. After having spent her undergraduate years drinking $4 double LITs on a patio and drunk texting away potential suitors, she managed to graduate with an impressive GPA and an unimpressive engagement ring -- so unimpressive, in fact, some might say it's not there at all. Veronica has since been fulfilling her duties as "America's big," a title she gave to herself with the help of her giant ego. She has recently switched from vodka to wine on weekdays. Email her at veronica@grandex.co

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