1. Either win…or lose big.
We only get four years in college, and when we leave for the real world, we should have few to no regrets. You can do this by putting all your energy into everything you do: school, work, friendships, relationships, sorority, philanthropy, interviews, and so on. More often than not, you will come out as the big winner and not even have to think about the latter. But if things don’t go your way from time to time, you will have nothing to look back on, because that was the best you could do and you gave the situation your all. Trust me, I know we are human, so it’s in our nature to make mistakes. Putting forth effort all the time can be hard, especially when it’s not reciprocated, but you owe it to yourself to be the best version of you that you can be. As a result, losses won’t be so tough because you will have absolutely no self-reproach.
Poof! Be gone.
You shouldn’t make time for shitty people in your life. It’s up to you to surround yourself with people who will make a positive impact on you, and friendship should not cause stress or mistrust. Ditto with boys. If you are constantly making excuses for him, feeling bad about yourself because you aren’t a priority, or losing friendships because he’s the only person you are fighting for, it’s time to say goodbye. Easier said than done, but once you start cutting ties with poisonous people, you will be shocked at what an incredible impact that will have on the quality of your life.
You’re skinny, you’re blonde, and you’re pretty. You’re telling me nobody at school hates you? Wake up.
This is the hard truth. Girls are catty bitches by nature and can be very unreasonable to why they like or dislike someone. No matter who you are or what you look like, you have a quality that someone else wants. The best ways to avoid having anyone “hate” you for being your fabulous self is to own everything you do, stay confident in even the most uncomfortable situations, and be nice. What benefit do you get out of stooping to their level? Nothing. And if all else fails, just wear your hater blockers at all times.
You save those tears for your room, in your pillow, alone.
Boys are scared of crying girls. Girls are scared of crying girls. I am really, really scared of crying girls. Do not be one of them. If you get in a fight with your best friend, get a bad grade, or see the guy you’re talking to making out with another girl right in front of you, put on a brave face. This will be your ally. When you feel the waterworks coming, remind yourself that you didn’t spend 20 meticulous minutes making your eyeliner look flawless just to ruin it. If that’s not motivation to keep it together, I don’t know what is.
Figure out how to be the best.
As I am knee deep in the job search for when I graduate in the spring, it is becoming more and more evident that a high GPA, involvement in extracurricular activities, and a long list of internships and jobs on your résumé isn’t going to cut it. Employers are looking for the best crop of students they can get. It’s up to you to prove that you’re the shit and they would be out of their minds not to hire you on the spot. If you are an underclassman, I advise you to read the qualifications of your dream jobs and figure out what steps you need to take to become a one-of-a-kind knockout candidate. If you’re in extreme panic mode, be honest with yourself and figure out what your strengths and weaknesses are. Apply to jobs in an industry that really values your strengths and sees your weaker areas as an opportunity instead of a disadvantage.
Bus driver, we’re going to stop at my house to get my dog, okay?
Nothing groundbreaking here. Life is just better with a four-legged creature. End of story.
You’re only making yourself look desperate.
If you have to ask your friends before communicating with a guy via text, Facebook message, Snapchat, Twitter DM, or Tinder, you are just making yourself look desperate…to your girlfriends. Guys don’t read into messages or real life talks the same way girls do, at all. They probably wouldn’t truly know what desperation was if it slapped them in the face. The only people who call girls desperate are other girls. If you were to call a guy ten times, send him five texts and show up on his doorstep at 2 a.m., he would think you are crazy (not desperate), but would most likely be flattered and impressed with your ambition to get that D. Girls, on the other hand, would categorize this behavior as completely desperate, and you’ll be known as “thirsty” for the rest of time. You are in total control of the level of desperation that others (girls) perceive by your actions.
Use your brain.
Sometimes we forget we have one of these. Prime example: a girl was complaining about how she snapped the guy she was talking to naked pictures and he was able to save them without her knowing. He’s a guy, so he obviously showed all his friends and word got back to her. She was shocked and appalled that he would do something like that. Hello, why are you surprised? I wanted to ask her if she used her brain and considered this outcome before sending the pictures. It has gotten to the point where I can’t even count how many ridiculous problems and predicaments I hear in a day that could have been prevented if someone had only used her brain. Use your brain, people. We have one for a reason.
We’re all gonna have FUN.
I live in an 11-person house of all girls. You would think that it would stay semi-clean, because, you know, girls. Not at all. Come Sunday morning, you’d think I was living in a dilapidated frat house. Obviously, no one wants to clean and we are hungover as shit, but we make it fun. We’ll play our favorite song of the moment, talk about the night before, goof around, make fun of each other, and so on. If you go into things thinking it’s going to suck, then it’s going to suck. Almost always, life is what you make of it, so just make light out of not-so-favorable situations and put your sense of humor to good use.
No more hickeys.
Seriously, boys and girls, this needs to stop. There is nothing more heinous than a cute girl with a monstrosity of red and purple bruises covering her neck. Like, what, did a shop-vac attack you? Or did your dreams of hooking up with Edward Cullen finally come true? Probably not, but if yes, major kudos to you. I know this can happen to innocents all over America, but at least wear a scarf or your hair down.
Go big or go home.
This has been my philosophy from day one. If you’re going to do something, you might as well go all the way..