We all have a bucket list. Some of us want to skydive, some of us want to travel, and some of us just want to make it through the day without forgetting to put on pants. If you’re anything like me, you keep a running list of all of the crazy stuff you want to do before you die, and you look at it every once in awhile just to remind yourself how boring you really are. But have you ever thought about what’s on your sex bucket list? There’s more to penetration than in, out, and on with your life. From post-prom sex to don’t-even-want-to-think-about-it old lady sex, you’ve got quite a few years left to spice up how you do the deed.
1. Have sex on a boat.
You know the old saying that goes, “It’s not about the size of the boat, it’s about the motion of the ocean. But hey, if you want to throw a big boat my way, no complaints”? Yeah, live by that.
2. Join the Mile High club.
Captain says it’s time to move about the cabin and into my pants.
3. Do it in a car.
I’ll rev your engine and put your stick shift into gear.
4. Get it on to the entire Fifty Shades of Grey soundtrack.
“Mr. Grey will see you now.”
5. Do the deed in your sorority house.
I promise I won’t tell standards.
6. Have a romp to your favorite sex song.
“Ride it my pony.”
7. Have relations in an office.
I definitely did have sexual relations with that man.
8. Do the nasty in a restaurant bathroom.
“I’ll have what she’s having.”
9. Bump uglies in an elevator.
Going up and getting off.
10. Role play.
“Professor, it’s not just your class that’s hard.”
11. Screw in your stilettos.
Apparently, that’s not just for porn anymore.
12. Do the dirty with a foreign man.
“Got lipstick stamps on my passport.”
13. Have sex in every state.
“From every mountainside, let freedom ring.”
14. Bring whipped cream to bed.
I’m the best looking sundae you’ll ever have.
15. Grab those handcuffs.
Lock me up and throw away the key.
So find a guy and get down to business, because we all know we’d rather burn our calories in bed than at the gym..
Nice Move530
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InVinoVeritas
InVinoVeritas is a recent college graduate who spends most of her time drowning her sorrows of graduation in coffee and tequila shots. She enjoys monogramming anything that doesn't move and drinking copious amounts of wine. Compliments, love letters, and cute videos of animals dressed as humans can be sent to invinoveritastsm@gmail.com.
@VinoVeritasTSM
