Unless you’re incredibly lucky, you’ve probably had a not-so-great roommate at least once, and if you haven’t had one yet, trust me, you will. Most of the time it’s little things like she always forgets to take her clothes out of the dryer or she leaves dishes in the sink overnight. Those little things eventually start to add up and you become increasingly annoyed and on edge every time you see her do laundry or fix herself a plate of food. If you’re really brave, you might say something to her or send her a harmless text asking her to please do the dishes when she gets home, but most of them, you just grin and bare it and then talk shit about her to your mom when she’s gone. This is normal. The stories you’re about to read, however, are not. These people are truly some of the most disgusting, horrifying, downright nasty humans to ever inhabit this planet, and after reading these anecdotes, I’ve never been more grateful to have a roommate who only sometimes forgets to put the dishes away.
- “She got kicked out for failing, and the night before she left she got super drunk, threw up everywhere and left me to clean it up.” – Jabberhakke
- “He was leaving dirty plates in his bed, covered with his sheets. When he was going to sleep, he just kicked the plates and didn’t bother to clean them.” – krukson
- “She was disgusting and a total slob and wouldn’t let me clean her side of the room. It was always super cluttered with shit everywhere. Our room had a gross smell all the time because of her, so I finally broke down and decided to let her be mad at me, and cleaned everything. I found cups, like 5 or 6, of partially drank spoiled, rotten, curdled chocolate milk…plates of partially eaten moldy food…it was horrible. She got so pissed off that I cleaned it that she ended up moving in with another girl. I wasn’t upset about it…She’d also have loud crazy sex at any and all hours of the night, wouldn’t lock our door and I ended up getting some items stolen…it was a mess.” – B_Nuts
- “I was so fed up with her leftover food rotting in the fridge which was overloaded all the time, I found rotten tomatoes and open bags of doritos between the sheets one time. In the middle of the [n]ight she’d open up new bags of chips to eat them then leave it on the sides of the bed frame for later.” – i_hate_the_eagles
- “The very first weekend of my Freshman year in college, my roommate comes back from a party at like 2 AM or whatever, and proceeds to vomit on my fucking desk, which did contain my laptop computer on it…” – Dreamlite
- “My roommate had no sleep schedule. He also chewed loudly, played the bass, and watched anime without headphones. At the same time. At 3 am.” – Magnificent_Z
- “I had a roommate that liked to set his alarm for 9am, but not actually get up until 11am. Snoozing it every 10 or so minutes. It was on an iPhone with that “warning siren” alarm. I wanted to strangle him.” – rangemaster
- “My freshman roommate lost her virginity the night before move-in to her much older, very creepy, unemployed (“musician”) boyfriend. In the hotel room that she was sharing with her mom and little sister, who were in the bed next to them. This guy basically lived with us on weekends. I had to always change in the dark because a strange creepy dude was lying there, usually butt naked. They had a lot of gross sex.” – Boludita
- “One of my freshman roommates was a self-professed kleptomaniac. She got a huge thrill from stealing clothes from department stores. Usually Nordstrom. In the first week or so of school, she went through her closest and showed us all of the clothing she had stolen, plus she knew how much each item cost and how she’d swiped it. Thousands of dollars worth of nice clothing. She had so much that half of it still had tags on and she never wore it, but she took it because she knew she could. Usually this theft involved carrying a really big purse, taking way too many items into a dressing room, and then emerging with one item in the purse, one to buy, and the rest to put back. Then if an alarm went off, they would assume it was just the item she had purchased and let her leave. Half the time she returned the item she paid for soon after too. It got to the point where girls in the dorm would go to the mall with her, and they’d all pick out clothes they liked and she’d go back on her own later and steal them for them. It was crazy. And to my knowledge, she’s still doing this and hasn’t been caught. She never seemed to steal from anywhere other than department stores, and none of my stuff ever went missing, so I guess she wasn’t too bad of a roommate, really. Just a person of questionable morals.” – TheWishingStar
- “He had a gf that didn’t attend our university that would stay the entire weekend. They stayed in bed, lights out, ordered delivery, wouldn’t leave. At one point I woke up and there was a baby in our room (they were babysitting). A fucking baby.” – 6squareddabsmaf
- “He wasn’t too bad on the whole, except for the habit of alarm-snooze-alarm-snooze-alarm-snooze-alarm-snooze-alarm-snooze-alarm-snooze-alarm-snooze-alarm-snooze-alarm-snooze-alarm-snooze-alarm-snooze-alarm-snooze…….” -wnp
- “She was sweet as a peach to your face, but honest to god couldn’t stand NOT being the center of attention. Lied about insomnia to her teachers because she stayed up late playing video games and laughing super loud and calling her friends, Started “seeing things ” the more time I spent with my boyfriend and not with her, and tried to, against campus policy, rewrite our “roommate contract” with our sketchy RA so that she could claim I was breaking our agreement and get me kicked out since I was no longer paying her any attention.” -Sondst
- “[My roommate] had no idea how to handle her time of the month properly. Instead of walking the ten or so feet to the bathroom, she’d fill up our bedroom trash with used tampons and pads. Once a month our room would take on a peculiar smell because of this. Me being unable to handle confrontation, I let it slide… until one day I found a huge, long twisted-up roll of paper towel covered in blood just sitting on the floor in the corner of our room.” – kiddo_95
- “I lived with three girls. Two of the girls let their boyfriends live in the apartment with them so I was actually living with 5 people in 1100 sq ft. Anyway, two months into the semester they start filming porn. Literally heard them having sex everyday to the point where I could never invite people over because all you’d hear are those overly dramatic orgasm sounds that only porn stars make. Every. single. day.” – ama338
- “My roommate would study all night on a completely fucked up schedule—twenty minutes studying, twenty minutes sleep, and so on. The result was her alarm going off at twenty-minute intervals all night for weeks leading up to and during finals. It’s partly my fault for being too cripplingly shy to confront her about it—we never spoke, which was terrible on its own—but how is that even an effective way to learn (or sleep)?” – rhydons
- “The first night I met my freshman roommate she introduced herself and said, completely seriously “have you seen that movie where one of the roommates kills himself and the other gets a free ride? Do you think that would really happen?” She was always good at ice breakers.” – GreenEggsAndStan
- “Sexiled me constantly. One time I changed into my shower clothes (basketball shorts, robe) grabbed my towel and caddy, and left the room for about fifteen minutes. When I came back, the chain lock was up, and I was stuck outside in the hall with wet hair and little to no clothing.” – A-HuangSteakSauce
If you have good roommates, count your blessings. .
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Cristina Montemayor
Cristina is a Grandex Writer and Content Manager. She was an intern for over two years before she graduated a semester early to write about college full time, which makes absolutely no sense. She regretfully considers herself a Carrie, but is first and foremost a Rory. She tends to draw strong reactions from people. They are occasionally positive. You can find her in a bar as you're bending down to tie your shoes, drinking Dos XX and drunk crying to Elton John. Email her: cristina@grandex.co (not .com).
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