17 Real Things I Heard Sorority Girls Say This Week


At my state school, like many others, Greek life is very popular. I myself am in a sophomore in a sorority, and of course I have many friends in my chapter and others. When you’re constantly surrounded by members of Greek life, you can’t help but laugh at some of the cliché things they say and do. Over the past week I have been taking note of some of the most ridiculous, stereotypical statements that have been said by the sorority girls I surround myself with. Granted, I do not mean to promote the negative stereotypes that sorority girls sometimes hold, but some of this shit was just too funny not to document.

“I wasn’t only mad she threw up on me for it being gross, but I had like just gotten a spray tan.”

Like, what an effing betch.

“My fuckin’ pants are so fuckin’ tight. Like holy shit.”

Freshman fifteen comin’ in hot.

“I mean…I wasn’t that drunk.”

HA. Classic. Yes, you were.

“Can you see my underwear line through my leggings? Actually never mind, I don’t really care regardless.”

Please do us all a favor and make sure your whale tail is not visible. Thank you.

“I’m about to order stuff off Tobi to make myself feel better.”

She said, as she stuffed her face with therapy chocolates.

“Oh my god that’s the place I blacked out and had to go to the hospital. It’s SO much fun!”

Rally, girl. Rally.

“Stop flirting with the Chinese delivery guy.”

Probably only saying that because you secretly wish you were flirting with him too.

“I don’t like her. Like, we all know you’re skinny and pretty…COOL. I have a better personality.”

Ah, the classic ‘personality’ excuse. At least your priorities are in line.

“I’ve had this cold for days. I’m going to black out tonight, that’s the only cure.”

Obviously the only logical solution.

“My like bar tab last night was like $72. Like, I don’t understand why boys weren’t buying me drinks.”

Like, maybe like, if you didn’t say ‘like’ every like, two seconds. Like.

“I met this cute guy at the bar this weekend but then when I introduced him to my friends, he told them he was my boyfriend. And he was serious. WTF.”

A very appropriate ‘WTF’ moment. Sounds like a grade A fuckin’ creep.

“I almost got into a fist fight with this girl today. She was whipping her scarf around and it hooked onto my nose ring and yanked it out.”

I was puzzled. Quite an interesting way to start a cat fight.

“I cannot wait to shower.”

I’m not gonna lie, she smelled really bad.

“Srat problem, which vest do I wear?”

To go with her oversized long sleeve t-shirt.

“I don’t like coffee. Only pumpkin spice lattes.”

Wow, are you not just the epitome of a sorority girl? I bet you don’t like yogurt either, just non-fat Greek yogurt, am I right?

“The concept of tampons is just weird as fuck.”

I mean, yeah, I guess if you’re really sitting there thinking about it, which is also weird as fuck.

“I faked alcohol poisoning last night so I could get a sober ride.”

Desperate times call for desperate measures.


Obviously, a sorority is so much more than the clichés non-members thrive on promoting exclusively. Still, everyone slips up sometimes, myself included, and it’s usually quite comical. I will continue to document these things when I can, because I love this shit. Keep it up sorority girls, you’re doin’ great.


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MicLovin (@MicLovinTSM) is a contributing writer for Total Sorority Move.

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