As the years progress, our scary childhood costumes become a thing of the past while we make way for stilettos and short skirts. The concept of having a legitimately scary costume has gone out the window, and girls now revert to the ever so obvious sexy kitten or slutty Disney princess. I say we bring the old ways back, and try our hardest to scare our friends, or, more specifically, our special male friends. Never underestimate the hilarity behind giving your guy a good scare, because sending a chill down his spine every once and a while will be sure to keep him on his toes (and provide endless entertainment for you, which is of the upmost importance). Here are a few ideas that are sure to send him running in the opposite direction this Halloween.
- Borrow all of your friend’s cats and show up as a crazy cat lady. Keep them all on leashes and assign them names like “buttercup” and “Ryan Gosling” to maximize the crazy.
- Dress as his mom by tossing on a short wig and some boot cut jeans. Spend the night reminding him that he has an exam next week and he should really be home, studying.
- Go as a bride, but buy an actual wedding dress instead of a costume. Don’t forget that shouting “Commitment!” is much scarier than “Boo!”.
- Wear an apron and pearls. Tell him you’re dressed as, “A wealthy stay at home wife,” or, more specifically, your future role in the relationship.
- Buy a Cinderella costume and act totally normal. Shortly before midnight, chuck your stiletto at him and run away.
- Cover yourself in fake blood and carry around a butcher knife. Constantly threaten him throughout the night, and when he asks what you’re dressed as, tell him, “Me, if we ever break up.”
- Dress as Cruella DeVil. Spend the night stroking his hair and commenting on what a nice coat it would make.
- Find a blue bird costume and go as “Twitter.” Constantly throw gold stars at him and scream “RT” every time he says something.
- Stuff a pillow under your shirt and attach a sign to your belly that say’s “(insert poor dude’s name here)’s child.”
- Cut leg holes in the bottom of a trash can and wear the object for the night. Tell him you’re dressed as, “every girl he’s been with, up until now.”
- Be Daisy Buchanan, and have him dress as Gatsby. Keep reminding him that Gatsby died for loving her too much.
- Dress as a sexy nun, and deny him sex at the end of the night.
- Wear all black and tape a sign to you that says “Your responsibilities.” Spend the night hanging off his shoulders, weighing him down and ruining the party.
- Be your dad, and keep reminding him that he has your blessing.
- Go as yourself after a successful divorce where you won everything and left him piss poor. Dress head to toe in designer clothes and spend the entire night talking about your house in the Hamptons.
- Buy an orange jumpsuit and some handcuffs. When he asks what you did to wind up in jail, tell him that you found out another girl had a crush on him and you “took care of it.”
- Dress as Bella Swan. Continuously call him Edward and ask him to please bite you so that you two can start your supernatural lives together.
- Get a group of your friends to dress as each one of his ex girlfriends. Periodically beat the shit out of each of them as the night progresses. .
Nice Move649
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Lucky Jo
Lucky Jo is a former and current TSM writer who likes her men how she likes her coffee: way too hot and unforgivably bitter. She graduated from the University of Missouri in 2016, proving that C's do in fact get degrees. She now spends her days working for a social media marketing agency, hiking with her dachshund, and trying to bring back the scrunchie. Hate mail and goat memes can be sent to lucyjmulvihill@gmail.com.
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