18 Signs You’re A Jersey Chaser

18 Signs You're A Jersey Chaser

Jersey chaser, cleat chaser, whatever. Athletes are your type, and you’ll never apologize for it. Other girls may hate, but you’re in it to win it, and by it, I mean a hot man with a multi-million dollar sports contract.

1. You refer to every athlete by their first name.
You get a small burst of pride name-dropping the fifth string kicker when no one else even knew he existed, because you’re dedicated to the team, and you’re actually friends with the guys. Kind of. Maybe not yet, but you will be.

2. You’d rather go to a party with the sports team than a fraternity.
It’s not that you’re definitely going to end up seeing someone naked tonight, but if you do, you’d rather a baseball butt than a beer gut.

3. You know which car each athlete drives.
And you freak out when you see them driving around campus. Actually, hold that. We all know which car our latest conquests drive, and act like we don’t want to see them, even though we totally do.

4. You only go to the “Athlete Bars.”
Endzone and the Locker Room? You basically live there. To you, no other bars exist.

5. You spend more time in the athlete dorms than your own apartment.
What? They have perks that plebes like us just don’t.

6. You once hooked up with someone who’s now in the NFL.
Your vagina is practically famous, and that counts.

7. You turn on ESPN and immediately spew “I made out with that guy!”
It’s fun when girls get to brag about their conquests for a change.

8. You’ve already planned your *tasteful* sports-themed wedding.
During the off-season, of course.

9. You’ve never made eskimo brothers out of fraternity brothers, but you’ve banged teammates a time or two.
I guess that makes you the real MVP.

10. You’ve convinced a five-star recruit or two to pick your school.
Be it through seduction, or just taking them out on the town and showing them how much fun they could have, you’re a seriously underrated asset to the team.

11. Your shacker clothes are comprised entirely of university-supplied sporting apparel.
Forget Greek letters, all of your shack shirts have Nike swooshes.

12. You have considered stealing a championship ring once or twice.
Just to, you know, get him used to the idea of a ring on your finger.

13. But you never let the crazy take over.
You know how hard they worked to win that championship, and you’d never take that away from them.

14. You’re either really athletic, or really not.
If you’re an athlete yourself, or at least into fitness, y’all could become an ESPN power couple. Otherwise, it’s still totally fine, you’ll just exercise the credit card.

15. You follow the Deckers on Instagram religiously.
They are your ultimate #goals, along with Tom and Giselle.

16. You keep track of single pro athletes.
Have you considered taking jobs in the cities with the most hot, young, single athletes? Maybe. But a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do.

17. You’re in some kind of sports-related major.
Sports broadcasting, sports medicine, you name it. The closer it gets you to the players, the better.

18. You know the cardinal rule of jersey chasing.
Don’t settle for the backup when you’re worthy of a starter. Stick by them through injuries and losses, and you both just might get the rings you’ve been wanting all along.

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PlattyBlonde is a senior who divides her time responsibly between cheap alcohol, bad boys, and worrying about her hair.

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