Happy International Women’s Day, bitches!
Ugh, I know I know. How rude, disrespectful, and “in bad taste” of me, right? Think what you may, but on this Sunday, March 8th, otherwise known as International Women’s Day, I’d like to take a second to be thankful. Thankful that I live in a world where I can be a woman and still be funny. Where I can be a woman and say “bitch” if I want, not because a man spoke to me first, but because I felt like saying it. That I can be a woman and speak my mind, stand up for what I believe in, and have Twitter fights with haters.
Since 1909, American women have spent this day celebrating the fact that we are the past, present, and the future. And while there are somethings I would like to change in this world (beauty standards, equal pay for women, the fact that there isn’t calorie-free queso), the honest truth is: Being a woman is freaking great. Seriously. There are tons of things that make us the unique, fabulous, sensational people that we are.
- We get to be hilarious. And not just like, “Oh heavens, I left the oven on” hilarious. We get to be smart, witty, dirty, and crude.
- We can speak up about topics that delight and infuriate us.
- And we can choose to say nothing at all.
- We get to grow a human inside of us. And sure, we joke about how awful it would be to be pregnant and blah blah blah, but lets be real, the fact that we can create a life in our bodies is pretty incredible.
- We get to grow up looking to our mothers, who are actual angels on earth.
- We have breasts.
- And not just in the “my tits get me free stuff” sense. We have breasts that can literally feed our future children.
- Plus, I hear your boobs get a lot bigger when you have a bun in the oven. What? Nothing wrong with being a mom an having a nice rack.
- We relate to things with our heart. Sure, it’s annoying that we might cry at random stuff (Subaru commercials), but the fact the we have empathy is a very wonderful quality.
- We have some really kick ass role models .
- And we have some really awful role models. They don’t really inspire us to do, well, anything, but they sure are fun to watch.
- We get to wear whatever the hell we want.
- We get to expand our education.
- Or we can just, not.
- We get to sing and dance and experience the world.
- And we have the right to say “eff that” and stay in bed all day.
- We get to set the standard for future women.
- And we get to decide who we want to be. Because no matter what, we have to ability to be whoever the hell we want. And that is what makes being a woman so damn amazing..