Raise your hand if you’ve ever felt personally victimized by Daylight Saving Time.
THANK YOU. So far, this week has freaking sucked. I don’t know if it’s because I’m older, I stay up too late watching “Friends,” or what, but losing that hour of sleep on Sunday has made me miserable. I hit snooze for an hour. I have yet to put on makeup again. And my hair? LOL at even brushing it. Plus, after seeing the bags under my coworkers’ eyes, I know that I’m not alone.
- You wake up and head to class while it’s STILL DARK OUTSIDE.
- And let’s be real, there’s no way you actually get up on time.
- Guess you’re not showering. Again.
- You feel bad about watching Netflix after your 6 p.m. class because it’s still light outside.
- And it will be for another hour and a half.
- So you feel like you need to exercise or something.
- But you don’t, because fuck that.
- Then, naturally, you feel bad about yourself because you totally could be productive.
- You have to last at day drinking for much longer before you transition into night drinking.
- But you end up staying out much later.
- And therefore, you have to sleep in much longer.
- And miss important things like meal plan times and Facebook stalking.
- And on top of that, you’re literally always tired.
- So, naturally, you end up taking four-hour naps in the middle of the day.
- And then you can’t fall asleep at night because you slept all day.
- So you text that guy who you really shouldn’t be texting.
- And you do things that you really shouldn’t do with him.
- And it’s all thanks to that horrible bitch, Daylight Saving Time, and it’s RUINING our lives.
So yeah, we’re all miserable. But if everyone is suffering, uh, quick question, society: Why the FUCK are we still doing this? I heard that this whole mess started because “back in the day,” the farmers needed more light to plant crops. That’s what we all heard, right? For the plants. Guess what? We were wrong. It’s not for the plants. It’s not for the cows. According to John Oliver, it was for Germany. And World War I. And the “supreme war lord,” Kaiser Wilhelm. Thanks a lot, guys.
So there. Not only are we really tired, but we’re also putting ourselves at risk, thanks to that annoying spring season. Plus, with more daylight comes the realization that pool parties, boat outings, and beach season are right around the corner, and we are totally not ready. Winter, we miss you already..