19 People Confess How Their Parents Found Out They Weren’t Virgins

American Pie Virgin

Ah, virginity. The big ‘V’. The ~special gift~. For everyone, the journey to adulthood is a bit different. How old you were, where it happened, and who it was with all varies. But one thing we call all agree on is that when your parents found out, it. was. weird. Maybe they (shockingly) handled it well or maybe it was WWIII. The people of Reddit confessed the moment when their parents realized that they weren’t virgins (or worse, the moment parents realized that their kids weren’t virgins). And these answers? They’ll make you feel better about that time your dad sat you down for “the talk.”

From Reddit:
Some answers have been edited slightly for grammar and spelling.

  1. Preeetty sure things were gonna happen when he asked if his friend could spend the night while I worked the night shift. His friend was a girl. They were 15 or 16, not sure what age. They were sleeping in a pile on the couch (clothed) when I came from work. I didn’t disturb them, I just went to bed. When I woke up later they were still sleeping but now on opposite sides of the couch. It was adorable.
  2. My children are all virgins. So is my granddaughter.
  3. My mom assumed I was having lots of sex in high school because my grades started falling. I lost my virginity in college. I was just really into Guitar Hero…
  4. She told me when we were looking into birth control options for her. She was 18 at the time, if that makes a difference. It’s a little odd that she’ll tell me anything (I would NEVER have told my mom!!) but it makes me proud that I am the kind of mom you can tell anything to.
    bomb comment: You’re not like a regular mom, you are a cool mom.
    bomb comment: Can I get you guys anything? Some snacks? A condom?
    bomb comment: Ohhh kids theses days…
  5. I overheard my mom helping my sister fill out a medical checklist for whatever. Mom was holding the pen and filling out the answers while reading them out loud. She was rushing it because she was bored. Paraphrasing:
     “Do you have any blood diseases? No.” *checks a box*
    Are you allergic to any common foods? No.” *checks a box*
    Are you sexually active? No.” *Sister quickly interrupts with an awkward but resolute ‘yes.’*
  6. Dad: “Have you and X had sex yet?”
    Me: “No.”
    Dad: “One more time. Have you and X had sex yet?”
    Me: “Yes.”
  7. My Dad found out when he used my truck to go fishing and found condom wrappers on the seat. My mom found out when she walked in on it because she doesn’t know how to knock and goes straight to popping the door lock with a pin if it doesn’t open. My nephew was caught when I got my spare truck back from him and he left a condom wrapper in the back seat. So I had to burn the entire vehicle.
  8. My mom found out one day when she called the house looking for me. My brother, instead of knocking on my door, just barged into my room and found me balls deep in my girlfriend at the time. He went “hold on a second he’s having sex” and left the phone on the floor. Thanks, bro. He was 3 years younger too, and most definitely a virgin. The nonchalant way he said it was frightening.
  9. I was having sex with my girlfriend when I was 16 in my bedroom, because we had a half day from school and I didn’t think my mom was gonna be home. We lived in a tiny apartment, the walls were paper thin, and my room was right by the apartment door. Sure enough, my mom decided to do something she never does and came home for lunch, and heard us going at it (I was facing the window in missionary, my girlfriend was facing the doorway). She walked in, did the whole “ahem” thing, and we both just stopped dead in our rhythm. I craned my neck around and saw my mom shaking her head and snickering. She let us get dressed, and then we went out into the living room and sat down on the couch to talk. She said she had figured we were having sex before this whole thing happened, but wasn’t positive until she walked in on us. She said she didn’t care as long as we were careful and used protection.
  10. Her parents came home 4 hours earlier than expected and though I hid, we had ordered Jimmy Johns and her parents got very suspicious as to why there were two sandwiches. This led to her angry Brit father finding me in her closet, and thankfully I was wearing pants. Their parents told us “you guys are stupid but we love you both”, but they still called my parents. I wasn’t allowed to see her for a month, I’m just glad I didn’t die. Her dad likes to hunt. A lot.
    Edit: I forgot to mention that because they arrived 4 hours early, I accidentally left my shoes on the floor when I hid in her closet.
  11. When she mistexted me saying, “of course I will have sex with you, I don’t care you are drunk.” I texted back and said you know you just texted your dad. Long silence, then she said my friends had my phone its just a joke. I was like, well know I know. She was 17 at the time, they are still together. 23 now.
  12. Not a parent but my mum found out cause I was bragging about it to my mates whilst playing the Xbox 360 back in high school. My room was right next to the kitchen (just where she was at the time) and she overheard. Next day she bought me a pack of condoms as her way of letting me know she knew.
  13. Had my first “serious” girlfriend at 15. We would go to the backroom of the house to study. In reality, we’d screw each others brains out, and then I’d spend 15 minutes doing her homework for her. (Hey, she made honor roll that semester!) Anyway, it’s about dinner time and we head out to the kitchen to discuss ordering a pizza with my parents. My dad is discussing toppings and mentions onions. Girlfriend says, “www. I don’t like onions. They give you bad breath.” My father, not missing a beat, says, “Well that doesn’t bother me, but then I’m not the one screwing around in the back room.” I started laughing but I thought the girlfriend was going to die of embarrassment.
  14. When I was in HS, I told my mom I was going to stay a virgin until I was married. She did a little snort laugh and said, “Yeah, sure, honey.” When I lost it in college and called her, she said, “I told you so, sweetheart.”Oh, Mama.
  15. My mom just texted me (after I told her I got screened for STDs): “Are you a virgin bud?”
    Me: “No :)”
  16. When my mom found out she cried and cried and cried…probably because my girlfriend got pregnant and I was teen dad but what do I know?!
  17. I got out of the shower and put on a towel (female). My mom asked me what happened to my back to get bruised like that. I ended up saying “Well Mom…you can do it, but it’s really difficult to have sex in a hot tub.” Her response was “OKAY. Let’s get you on birth control.” Best mom ever.
  18. My son was 16 when he called me because he got caught by the girls mom. He was freaked out because he thought her dad was going to kill him. I just laughed and told him a couple of stories from my life and the time when his uncle got caught doing the same thing. I reiterated what I have been telling him since he was 13 — WEAR A CONDOM. He said he was and it was all cool.
  19. My parents still think I am a virgin. Unfortunately, they are correct.

Sorry mom and dad.

[via Daily Mail, reddit]

Image via Youtube

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Rachel Varina

(yeahokaywhat) Aspiring to be the next Tina Fey, Rachel spends her free time doing nothing to reach that goal. While judging people based on how they use "they're" vs. "there" on social media, she likes eating buffalo chicken dip, watching other people's Netflix, and wearing sweatpants way more than is socially acceptable.

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