How come no one ever sings about flat bottomed girls?
- You may never get to be in a rap video, but hey, that nursing degree is going to go to good use.
- You don’t even consider taking a photo without a little arch of the back.
- You try twerking, but it just ends up being a weird thigh-jiggle type movement.
- Yoga pants, although somewhat helpful, just seem to taunt you.
- Raise your hand if you have ever been personally victimized by Kim Kardashian.
- You pray he doesn’t “watch you while you walk away”.
- “BOOTY BOOTY BOOTY BOOTY ROCKING EVERYWHERE” *cries*
- Your lack of “derriere” sometimes allows you to buy a size smaller. Who needs the gym?
- You’re not prime subject for “butt stuff,” which is a personal victory.
- You tend to lay on your back when laying out.
- Ass grabs are a complete and utter joke.
- “Flat Stanley” may or may not be a distant relative.
- You rejoiced when “Rack City” came out because it was a great distraction.
- You don’t seem to understand the struggle that is stretched out leggings.
- Your gym routine consists of squats in hopes it cures poor genetics. Spoiler alert: it doesn’t.
- “Don’t eat that, it’ll go straight to your ass”, is not a warning, but a personal challenge.
- No donk, no stretch marks. Winning, am I right?
- Sir Mix-a-Lot is enemy #1.
- Riding bikes is a unique form of torture and must be avoided at all costs.